Cannonball
by TStabler
Summary: It started out as a way to give each other what they needed without the risk of getting hurt, but soon they fell. Hard and fast. Like cannonballs. The aching, unchanging need for each other is growing harder to ignore. Who will be the first to fire? EO
1. Taste

**A/N: There's still a little bit of your taste in my mouth.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and all related characters. TStabler owns the following story.**

"So, maybe, it was, what, a thirty-four caliber?" Elliot asked, turning to her, raising an eyebrow. He didn't expect her to be staring at the body the way she was, and it stunned him. "Liv?"

"Looks like it," she said, nodding. She tugged her gloves off and tossed them into a plastic bag. She blinked and finally looked over at him. "I'm sure Melinda will let us know what kind of bullet she gets out of her."

"You okay?" he asked, starting to walk, moving with her slowly toward the car. "You just seem kind of...off."

She shook her head. "I'm just tired," she said. "Didn't get a lot of sleep last night." She narrowed her eyes at him. "Someone kept me up all night."

He laughed and said, "And I am pretty sure he is not sorry at all."

"Oh," she said, yawning, "I know he isn't."

He opened the door for her, then when she was settled in the passenger seat he ran around to the driver's side. He got it, fastened his seatbelt, and jammed the key into the ignition, but before he turned it, he looked at her. "Can I see you tonight?"

She was quiet and still, staring out the window for a full minute, and then the laughter started. She shook her head and looked at him with a sigh, her eyes slowly blinking. "Bring dinner," she said.

"Of course," he returned with a smirk. He looked back at the steering wheel and turned the key, humming happily as he put the car into drive. "Chinese?"

"It's Friday," she said, meaning yes. Their routine was nailed down now, and nothing had changed in the last four months. "Wanna watch a movie?"

"Isn't that Stephen King thing coming on tonight?" he asked, flicking the blinker and changing lanes.

She laughed at him again. "You are the only person I know who can do what we do for a living and, even when you don't have to, watch murder and blood and death and..."

"Annabeth Gish gets naked," he said with wagging eyebrows.

"Oh," she scoffed. "Because you won't be seeing another hot, naked woman tonight?"

He smiled and winked at her, then turned down an avenue, chuckling. "I like nights like this," he said to her with a soft look in his eyes. "You and me, just talking."

"Just talking?" she questioned.

"Well," he said, "Mostly talking." He pulled up to the curb in front of her apartment building and moved toward her, the hurt seeping in when she turned her face to catch his kiss on her cheek. "I'll be back in a few," he whispered into her ear.

She nodded at him with a half-smile, and got out of his car, slamming the door behind her. She watched his car roll down the street then turned with a deep breath as she climbed the steps. She nodded to her doorman, then took the short elevator ride up to her floor.

She trudged toward her door, shuffling in her pocket for the key. She found it, and walked into her apartment with another heavy sigh. She kicked off her shoes, hung up her jacket, and wandered into her bedroom.

She changed, pulling off her suit one piece at a time. She smirked, knowing there would be no need for underwear tonight, and tugged on a pair of sweats and a loose tee shirt. She stayed barefoot and padded back into the living room, then threw herself onto the couch. Picking up the remote, she flipped through channels until she found the movie Elliot wanted to watch and then she leaned back with her feet up, waiting for him.

Twenty minutes later, the door opened, and Elliot walked in with a plastic wrapped paper bag. "Hey," he said with a smile, taking his coat off. He hung it up, then moved toward the couch, dropping the food on the coffee table. "What'd I miss?" he asked, taking the food out of the bag.

She shifted her legs for him and he sat. She raised an eyebrow at him when he pulled her legs into his lap. She smiled and took the egg roll he handed her. "Someone died in an unexplainable way," she said. "Some kids are playing around in the crime scene and they don't know it. The dog has rabies."

He stopped moving the chopsticks toward his mouth and stared at her. "You have no fucking idea."

"I watched about five minutes and decided it was probably the most boring movie on the planet," she said, chewing.

He laughed as he shoveled his lo mien into his mouth. "You're adorable," he said with a mouthful, then reached over her legs for his soda.

"I can move," she said, attempting to.

"Don't you dare," he returned. "You're comfortable, right?"

She smiled at him. "Very." She popped a piece of broccoli in her mouth and wiggled her legs a bit. She almost choked on her chicken when he tickled her feet, and she kicked and jerked hard as she laughed.

"Come on, Benson," he quipped. "That all the fight you got?" He grabbed her legs and yanked, hard, pulling her into his lap completely. His arms looped around her and he ran his tongue around his teeth and swallowed the last bit of noodles before saying, "Hello, there."

Her food forgotten on the table now, she wound her own arms around his back. "Hi," she almost whispered.

He moved in, slow, close, and knowing she would move unless he did, he tilted his head and latched his mouth onto her neck. Part of him hated the unspoken agreement they had, with a passion. The rest of him understood why it existed. He mumbled something against her skin, and he stood, with her still in his arms.

She must have understood him because she held on tight and didn't fight him as he kept sucking on her pulse and moved her toward the bedroom. "El," she moaned, feeling the air woosh against her as she was dropped onto the bed.

He chuckled as he stared down at her. "What?" he asked, smirking, pulling his shirt off.

She bit her lip as she watched him undress, and she grunted, forgetting what she was going to say, when she felt his hands on her, her own clothes being peeled away.

"What were you gonna say, Detective Benson?" he prodded, laughing when he saw the smooth, barenaked skin beneath the sweatpants. He smoothed his hands up and lifted her shirt, throwing it over his head. "I'm waiting," he sang, crawling over her.

Her head fell backward when his lips clamped down on her right nipple. "Oh, God, Elliot," she whispered. She wanted so badly to ask him, to tell him, but she couldn't. She knew that it wasn't what their relationship was, it was not what he wanted, not yet.

"Tell me," he hissed, sucking on her rosy bud. His hands worked between her legs, his fingers slipping up and down her slick folds, sliding in and out of her, teasing her. He moaned and his eyes closed, and he let her nipple go.

She whimpered as she opened her eyes, she watched him kiss her chest, and the way his lips pursed against her skin with such tenderness made her own mouth ache for his taste. "Elliot," she whispered again.

He twisted two of his fingers inside of her and lifted his head, looking into her eyes. He half-expected her to move toward him, but he knew her much better than that. He pulled his fingers from her, held her gaze as he licked her juices off of his long, thick fingers, and he eased her legs open more. "What, Olivia?" he questioned just as softly. "What do you want?"

She bit her lip and kept her eyes on his as he positioned himself over her. She ran her hands up his back and rested them on his shoulders, her left leg hooked over his hip, and she took a deep but ragged breath as she felt him push at her entrance. "El," she panted.

He dropped his forehead to hers, one hand curling around her leg and the other around the back of her neck, and he whispered, "I'm right here."

She nodded, a sharp intake of breath stilled her, and she felt him pushing. Her nails dug into his skin harder as he thrust deeper, and her eyes closed when his flesh met hers. "Oh, my God," she moaned.

"I will never get tired of this," he moaned in return, his head rubbing gently against hers. "Ever. I swear on my life." He kissed the corners of her mouth, her chin, then her neck. He sucked harder as he began to move faster, thrusting harder.

Her eyes opened, and stayed that way, and they met his as he backed up to look at her. She smiled at him, they shared playful laughs and bites, and he hit spots inside of her that no one ever had. She promised herself that she wouldn't let herself go, but it was too late, and it was all she could do not to tell him.

He growled when she scratched her nails down her back, he kissed his way down her chest again, and it made him hit into her harder, picking up a bit more speed. Her moans hit his ears and her cries of his name hit his heart. "Oh, fuck, Liv," he mumbled, his hands caressing her lightly.

She felt the familiar heat rise, coursing through every vein. Every nerve was crying out, begging to be touched, lavished with more attention from the man on top of her. She gasped when she felt his hand slip from her leg to her clit, and when he swiped the nub she jerked and shuddered, and her world shattered.

"Come on, baby," he breathed into her ear. The moan that escaped her lips was one that he was certain she had never made, and the sound that followed was one he was sure no human had ever uttered before, and it only spurred him on. He pistoned into her, punctuating each move with a grunt and a flick of her clit, and he kissed her everywhere he could, except the one place he knew would scare her. At least, for now.

Her left hand dug into his shoulder and his right scratched desperately at his scalp as she whined and whimpered and clung to him. The tremors ripped through her with shocking power and stunning speed and she clenched and pulsed around him with force that scared her. "Oh, God, El," she yelled, her head flying back into the pillow beneath her.

He pressed his lips together, trying to hold on until she had ridden her release out completely, but her throbbing and vibrating final moments sent him into a spin, making him lose control. "Ah, fuck, baby," he spat, thrusting with every powerful, pulsing spurt.

She held him close, looking up into his eyes as he stopped moving. She smiled when he kissed her forehead, and she tried to slow her breathing, tried to slow her racing pulse when she saw his lips moving toward hers. She wasn't going to turn away, she promised herself.

Two ringing cell phones interrupted what would have been the most intimate of moments, though, and their foreheads touched instead of their lips. They shared a laugh instead of a kiss. "Right on time," he chided, kissing both of her cheeks and her forehead again, then pulling out of her with a slow hiss.

She closed her eyes and bit her lip, hating and loving every minute of what had just happened, and she slowly sat up. She watched him scramble to find his clothes as he talked on the phone, and she answered her own ringing cell and found a clean bra.

She listened to the babbling on the other end of the phone and dressed as she laughed to herself. This was their routine, and had been for the last few months. This was what they were. The best of friends, the ultimate team, the truest of partners with the most amazing of benefits. It was painful for her to want so much more so desperately and be so afraid of it.

She hung up the phone and looked at him as he pulled on his tie, and she sighed. She was falling, hard and fast, and she didn't think she'd be able to hold out much longer. And that was a mistake she didn't want to risk making, because she was certain it would be a mistake, and he had yet to prove her wrong.

But he would, and she wouldn't be ready for it. At all.

**A/N: Chapter two?**


	2. Doubt

**A/N: There's still a little bit of you laced with my doubt.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and all related characters. TStabler owns the following story.**

Captain Cragen folded his arms, half amused, half pissed, and looked around at his zonked out detectives. "Have any of you heard anything I've said?" He waited for an answer. "Hey!"

"Huh?" Elliot lifted his head and lowered his feet off of his desk.

"Seven!" Olivia answered, blinking and flipping through a file.

Munch snorted and rubbed his nose before yelling, "Purple!"

"No," Fin mumbled, honestly and simply. Then he looked at his partner. "Purple?" He shook his head and closed his eyes again.

"Okay," Cragen sighed, sitting on the corner of the closest desk, "It's only the middle of the day. What's up with the 'Night of the Living Dead' routine?"

Elliot looked at his team, then back at his captain. "Well, Cap," he began, cracking his knuckles, "I know it's the green season, and high volume should be expected, but this is ridiculous. I mean, we've been pulling double shifts as it is, but the past few days...we barely get home from one case and the phone rings with another one."

Cragen's eyes narrowed. "Welcome to Special Victims," he said. "I'll be your captain this evening. Can I start you off with something to drink? Coffee maybe?"

Elliot chuckled. "All I'm saying is...we're running on empty. I haven't gotten any sleep in the last three days, I'm sure that goes for Liv, too. Looking at Munch and Fin...I'd say they're in the same boat. We're not the only four people in this unit, so why are we the only ones you've been calling in?"

Looking at Olivia, seeing the grey color of her skin and the pitiful attempt at stifling a yawn she was making, Cragen nodded. "Right," he said, "You're right. Okay. I've been pushing you guys a lot harder than anyone else." He ran a hand down his face. "I just...trust you guys."

"You don't trust the other fifteen people you hired?" Olivia asked, her hand over her mouth, trying, again, not to yawn.

Cragen laughed and shook his head. "I do," he conceded. "I just don't trust them with my life the way I do with you." He looked at Elliot, then at Fin. "Finish what you're doing and go home. I'll see you in the morning."

"What?" Fin asked, blinking.

Munch laughed. "Thank you," he said, hurriedly scanning his report with a grin.

Olivia looked at Elliot with a raised eyebrow. "Unbelievable," she said, handing him a file.

He smiled and winked at her as he took it, never more willing to finish paperwork in his life.

* * *

><p>"Pizza's on it's way," Elliot said, pulling his key out of the lock as he held the door open for Olivia. He pulled off his jacket, then kicked the door closed. "I called from the car," he told her, hanging the coat on a hook.<p>

"Mushroom?" she asked, kicking off her shoes.

"Pepper and onion," he said, tossing his keys into a bowl on the corner table. He turned to say something else, but he was pressed against the wall with such force that he was stunned into silence.

She looked at him, her eyes dark, her smirk wicked. One finger lay over his lips, keeping him quiet, and she leaned closer to him. Her lips trailed over his jaw, down his neck, as her other hand loosened and pulled off his tie.

He shut eyes and tried to remember how to breathe. He had to consciously control his heartbeat or he would pass out. The woman was trying to kill him, he thought. "Liv," he mumbled against the finger pressed to his lips.

She simply chuckled and unbuttoned his shirt, slipping her finger away from his mouth to assist, and peeled the cotton off of his broad shoulders. She kissed and licked every inch of skin, gasping and moaning softly when he twitched at her touch. She raked her nails over his torso lightly, her fingertips following her mouth to his belt buckle.

"Oh, Jesus," he hissed, slamming his head backward into the wall in anticipation. "Motherfuck..." he scraped his teeth along his lip as he combed his fingers through her hair. He watched in awe and admiration as she eagerly worked his belt off and pulled it out of the loops. "What are you...what's gotten into you?"

She looked up at him, her lip caught between her teeth in a mischievous grin, and a look in her eyes that told him she was definitely up to no good. She threw the belt over her head and it landed somewhere on his couch. They shared a laugh as her hands returned to his fly, and she held his gaze as she slid down the zipper. "Hi," she whispered.

"Oh, hello, sweetheart," he said with another wink. He smoothed on hand from her hair down the side of her face, caressing her, then back again. Even in the most lustful of acts, even when he couldn't truly get his point across, he tried to be tender with her. He only hoped she knew.

She held her breath as she gripped the waistband of his pants, and she pulled down hard, shoving the material over his hips. Her eyes twinkled when she saw how aroused she'd already made him, how turned on he was by her without her even touching him. He gave her chills. She looked up him as she wrapped her hand around him, and she watched him close his eyes and gasp.

He moaned, twisting her hair in his hands as he felt her mouth envelope him. "Holy mother of..." he trailed off with a grunt, trying not to buck his hips. He opened his eyes and was met with hers, and he was completely shattered. She was looking up at him, wanton and eager, enjoying it as much as he was, and that's the moment he knew that something needed to change. He needed to change. He let himself fall a farther, a little harder, and his eyes closed again.

"You like that?" she asked, her voice low, husky, dripping with sex.

"Fuck, yes," he said, adding a gentle thrust of his hips and a light tug of her hair. "God, baby, you're..." he grunted again. "You're so damn...perfect." He opened his eyes and looked at her again. He smiled.

She sucked him, from root to tip, her hand working him as well. Her tongue swirled over the head and flicked lightly at the tiny slit before she took him back into her mouth again, her eyes never leaving his. For him, she didn't mind. He never made her feel obligated. He never asked for it. Her heart was in it and it was something, she realized, she wanted more than him. As she watched his eyes roll back, she thought, although briefly, that it was only one of the reasons she wouldn't run. Not from him.

He watched her, he looked into her eyes as she worked him, moving over him, bringing him closer with every draw of her lips and slip of her tongue. The smile on her face and sparkle in her eyes made his heart drum against his chest. He kept both hands in her hair, tangling and twirling, twisting and playing, grunting with each easy wave of his hips.

She moaned and laughed with him in her mouth, knowing the vibrations would add to the sensations she was already building up. She was determined to bring him to a new level of bliss, make him hers, mark him in a way no other woman ever had or ever would.

He felt it start, then, and his eyes widened. "Liv," he choked, tugging on her hair, "Honey, okay. Okay!"

"Hmmm," she hummed around him, shaking her head. Her eyes narrowed and her smirk grew wider, though he couldn't tell.

"Liv, baby, I'm not kidding," he warned her. "You don't have to..." he squinted and pressed his lips together. "Baby, please?"

"El," she whispered, stroking him as she spoke. "I want to."

He shivered, and he sighed, and he rand his hands through her hair again. He felt her hot mouth take him over again, then he relaxed and he let go with a grunt and a whisper of her name. His heart was pounding as he watched her wipe the right corner of her mouth, and he let out a nervous laugh when he looked on as she pulled up his pants for him.

She rebuttoned his shirt, gave him a soft kiss on both corners of his lips, and she was about to go for it, she was going to kiss him, but the ringing doorbell, and the slight whisper of doubt in her mind that he didn't want a commitment, stopped her. "Pizza," she whispered.

"I...I got it." he said. He closed his eyes in disappointment, and slipped out from between her and the wall. He walked toward the door and pulled out his wallet. He opened the door, paid for the pizza, then turned to her. "Come on," he said, slamming the door with a swift kick.

"Where are we going?" she asked, tilting her head.

He headed toward the bedroom as he flipped open the box. "I got Cragen to send us home so we could get some sleep, and fuck, I'm gonna get some sleep." He plopped on the bed and tossed the box on the night stand.

Olivia looked down at the pizza and she laughed. "I thought you said..."

"Come on," he scoffed. "A night I know your mouth is gonna be dangerously close to mine? No way was I getting pepper and onion," he winked. "Besides, I know you love your mushroom." He bit into a slice and leaned back on the bed, then patted the mattress beside him.

She grabbed a slice and crawled over him, then wrapped an arm around him. She bit, and as she chewed she looked at him. She was stunned to see him looking back at her.

He held her gaze as he bit his pizza again. He was testing her. How long could she take it? How long would she be able to look at him like that before it became too hard? Too intense? He swallowed, smiled at her, then bit again.

She laughed, but played his game. Before long, they had eaten their entire slices staring into each other's eyes. She blinked only once, when he cleared his throat and took the crust out of her hands. She watched, then as he stood, and he pulled her up, and they undressed.

He pulled down the covers and gestured toward the bed. "After you," he teased.

She rolled her eyes. "Dweeb," she joked.

"What, are you stuck in the Eighties?" he shot back, getting into bed and scooting close to her. He pulled her into his arms and cuddled close. Then he whispered, "Hey, Liv?"

She looked up to answer him, but before she could say anything, his lips were on hers. A real kiss. An agreement shattered, and in its place a list of questions a mile long that neither had the answers to. Her heart stopped, and every cell in her body screamed at her to pull away from him, but she didn't.

Not until he backed away to look at her, a question in his own eyes. "Liv?"

She finally exhaled, dropping her head to his chest and wrapping her arms around him tighter.

Flooded with relief, and fear, he closed his eyes. He would ask her about it all in the morning, which would come way too soon.

**A/N: Her reaction? He doesn't get it right away...but ohhhhh when he DOES...**


	3. Hard

**A/N: Still a little hard to say what's going on**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler. **

"You okay?" Fin asked, looking at Olivia with curiosity in his eyes.

She nodded, unable to tear her eyes away from the young girl, the color still in her cheeks. "Better than her," she said. "God, she's…what, six? Seven?"

Fin shook his head. "Don't," he said to her. "It's not worth it, Baby-Girl."

"She's someone's daughter, Fin," Olivia snapped, looking at him with a darkness in her eyes that frightened him. She took heavy steps toward him as she shouted at him. "She's someone's entire world! How can you look at me and tell me it isn't worth it!"

"Whoa!" Elliot yelled, grabbing her around her waist. "Whoa," he said softer, turning her around. "You okay?"

"No," she sniffled, wiping her eyes. She pulled away from him and walked back to Melinda, who was still by the body of the little girl.

Elliot looked at Fin, his eyes narrow. "Good going."

"I didn't mean…look, man," Fin stuttered as he folded his arms. "I didn't say…she's never…"

"I know," Elliot said, holding up a hand. "I don't know what happened, either." He looked over at Olivia and shook his head. "She's got a lot on her mind, and that…she is a really little girl."

Fin nodded. "I'm gonna go find Munch. See if there's anything in the water," he said.

Elliot waved and nodded, then walked over to Olivia and Melinda. "What can you tell us, Mel?" he asked, trying to stay on the job as he knelt and rested a hand on Olivia's back. He felt her relax into his touch and he closed his eyes for a moment, rubbing gently just to let her know he was there. Then he dropped his hand and opened his eyes. "Doc?"

"Petechial hemorrhaging in her eyes," Warner said.

Olivia, almost whispering, looked at Elliot. "She was strangled. Someone held this little girl down, looked her in the eyes, and watched the life drain out of her." She shook her head. "No one reported her missing. No one called anyone. How could…"

"Liv," he looked into her eyes. "This isn't new. We've had cases like this before. Wanna tell me what's really got you freaking out?"

She held his gaze for a moment, then shook her head. "Not here." She cleared her throat and looked at Melinda. "Call me," she said, "As soon as you find out if she was…" she pressed her lips together tightly. "As soon as you find out anything new."

"I will, Liv," Melinda said, nodding.

Olivia stood up, feeling her bones crack as she did so, and she heard Elliot rising to his feet beside her. She looked at him, attempting a small smile. "Thanks," she said.

"For what?" he asked, furrowing his brow, following as she walked.

"Knowing me," she said. "You know me, El." She gave his shoulder a light squeeze, then looked up to see Munch and Fin walking toward them. "Find anything?"

Munch shook his head. "We canvassed the area," he said. "All we got was this old rope." He held up a sealed evidence bag. "And a baseball cap," he held up another bag.

Fin sighed. "Hopin' the lab can find hair or sweat or somethin'," he said. He looked at Olivia then. "You okay?"

She nodded. "I'm sorry I snapped at you, Fin, I'm just…"

"Hey, we all have our moments," Fin interjected. "I think…we could all use a drink." He turned to his partner. "You in?"

Munch shook his head. "I gotta do the write-up on this," he said. "It'll be on your desk when you get in," he pointed to Olivia and then to Elliot. "One of your desks. Or should I find a way to prop it up between 'em?"

The group shared a laugh, then waved to him. "Thanks for taking the swing shift, John," Elliot shouted, watching the older detective walk away.

Munch raised a hand to wave over his head and headed for his car.

"So about that drink," Olivia mumbled, shoving her hands in her pockets.

Elliot laughed, shaking his head. "Piece of work, I'll tell ya," he said, holding the yellow tape up for her.

She crawled under it, nodding her thanks.

Fin shook his head, though, waiting for Elliot to drop the tape and the men simply stepped over it. They walked in less-than-comfortable silence down the block to a bar. Again, Elliot pulled the door open for Olivia, and once they were deep enough into the dark, smoky room, he grabbed her hand.

Her head shot toward his, her eyes narrowed, but she gripped his hand in response. "Here's fine," she said, pulling him into a nearby booth.

Fin tossed his jacket in first, then slid in, shaking off the chill of the night. "Man, these midnight scene calls are killing me," he said, running a hand down his face.

Elliot chuckled. "At least we get a break between the call and going into…"

"No difference, man," Fin said, yawning. "I'd rather sleep till five than wake up at two, canvass a scene, get off at four and have two hours to kill before heading into the squad room." He yawned again. "So…enough about that shit," he paused to signal a server. "Tell me about this girl you been seein'."

Elliot smirked, his head bowed a bit, and he pulled his hand out of Olivia's. He splayed his palm over her thigh under the table as he asked, "What do you wanna know?"

Olivia bit her lip, feeling Elliot's hand rise, then dip between her legs. She shifted a bit, holding in the gasp as his hand pressed against the thin cotton pants keeping him from her slit.

Fin took a moment to order a pitcher of beer and three mugs, then turned back to Elliot. "You've told me less than nothin'," he said, "So start with the sex."

"Of course," Elliot scoffed, pressing a little harder against Olivia, rubbing in slow circles, making sure no movement was detectable above the table. "Every night. It's loud, it's kinky, it's…incredible." He slowly slid two fingers up and down, pressing hard against Olivia's pants, knowing she could feel it.

Olivia reached for a glass and the beer fast, once it arrived, and she gulped it down fast, pouring a quick second.

"Man, you really did need a drink," Fin laughed. He shook his head and turned back to Elliot. "So? You said…kinky?

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Not like that. I finally found a woman who can handle me. I bite, I scratch. So does she," he shrugged. He leaned forward then, and as he spoke, he moved his fingers in deep waves, finding her clit beneath her clothes. "But it's not just sex. It never has been." His smirk grew wicked as he said, "I'm in love with her."

Olivia's nails dug into his leg, she looked at him as he turned to look at her, her eyes burning into his.

"Uh oh," Fin chuckled, sipping his beer. "Jealous, Benson?"

"No," Olivia said, closing her eyes. Her head fell backward into the cushioning of the booth. She felt the slow burn roll through her, thankful that it was a quiet, easy release.

Elliot grinned as he felt her shudder beneath his touch, felt her nails dig deeper into his leg. "She's just tired Fin. And, uh, she knows. She…um…she met her."

Fin took another sip of his beer. "She like the kids?"

"Oh, yeah," Elliot laughed, running his hand down Olivia's thigh, down her leg, caressing her. "She loves them."

"They like her?" Fin asked.

Olivia's head popped up, then, her relaxed state short-lived, apparently. "What's with the third-degree, Fin?"

Fin shrugged. "I just…don't take this the wrong way, I just…always thought…after Kathy…that it would be you." He shook his head. "You guys are close. Damn close."

Olivia scoffed and sipped her beer, the last trickles of her orgasm rolled through her. "We're just friends, Fin." She eyed Elliot, who stared intently at her as he took a long swig of his own drink. "Partners."

"Yeah," Fin said with a snort. "One day you'll start seein' some handsome Jewish doctor, and Stabler over there is gonna realize he is two seconds away from losing you and he's gonna propose before he even…"

"Fin, that is not my life," Olivia interrupted, "That's The Nanny. Please, stop talking."

Elliot laughed and sipped his beer. "Ya know, who knows. Maybe. Somewhere down the road, that could happen." He shrugged. "Life's funny like that. I'm just taking it as it comes." He held out his glass.

"As am I," Olivia said, clinking her glass against his. Their eyes met as they sipped, toasting to taking their relationship, if that's what it was, as it happened.

"Shit," Fin hissed, his ringing phone interrupting the moment. He looked down at the caller ID and bit his lip. "I gotta take this," he said, sliding out of the booth as he answered the call. He walked away as he mumbled a hello.

Elliot scooted closer and wrapped an arm around her once Fin was out of view. "So," he said, biting his lip. "Are we on the same page, here?"

"Are we?" she asked him back, looking nervously at him. "El, you…last night you…you actually…"

"I kissed you," he nodded. "Yeah, I know." He tilted his head and said, "You didn't seem to mind." He smirked at her. "I just made you cum, too. Right in from of Fin, as I told him all about our sex life and told him I was in love with you. What else do you want me to do, Liv? I'll do it."

She laughed, because of nerves and humor, and shook her head at him. "You're impossible."

"I'm gonna kiss you again," he said firmly, putting his glass down. "If you want this to be just…what it has been…friends…sex…then don't…don't kiss me back." He looked up at her and cupped her chin. "But so help me God Olivia, if you want me the way…the way that I want you, then kiss me, like you mean it."

"I don't think that's such a good…" she didn't get to finish protesting.

His lips cut her off, covering her mouth and begging her lips to part.

She was frozen, stunned, her lips sealed, her body numb.

He didn't move. He knew she wanted him, needed him, and in his heart he knew she just needed one more moment, one more second, and he waited, he prayed.

She gave a shuddering breath, her hands looped around his neck, and her lips finally moved. They opened just enough to allow his pleading tongue entry, and when it swooped against hers she met each move with fervor. Her hands clutched his neck a bit harder, their moans grew from mental to audible, and the tears she only thought she was crying slid down her cheeks.

He felt them on his fingers as he cupped her cheeks, and he sniffled, keeping his own emotions in check. "Don't cry," he whispered, kissing her again.

"I'm scared," she whispered, rubbing her forehead against his as he wiped away her tears. "This wasn't supposed to…"

"Oh, come on," he chuckled, kissing the end of her nose. "You know this kind of thing always ends with someone falling in love. I'm just glad, this time, it was both of us."

She blinked and backed away from him a bit as she said. "El, I…I just don't want to get…"

Fin came back and sat down, cutting her off. "Sorry 'bout that," he said. "What'd I miss?" He looked at them and tilted his head. "You still thinkin' about that kid?"

Olivia bit her lip. "Yeah. Fin. I am." She slid out of the booth. "I'm gonna go help Munch. Maybe talk to Warner. I'll…" she met Elliot's eyes and gave him a soft smile. "I'll see you in a few hours."

"Is she okay?" Fin asked, sipping the last of his beer.

Elliot smiled. "Fin," he said, "She's gonna be just fine."

**A/N: Wrapped up in the case, then wrapped up in each other. **


	4. Stone

**A/N: Stones taught me to fly**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler.**

"Honey, I'm home," he called, almost singing, closing the door behind him. "Hey," he said, seeing her on the sofa. The smile he expected wasn't there.

"Hey," she spat back, giving him a short nod.

He dropped the bag of Mexican takeout on the coffee table, then hung up his coat. "I need to ask you...I know you had to testify this afternoon, but then you..." he shrugged as he tried to find the best way to say it. "You spent three hours in the lab, then you went up to TARU by yourself...it's like you were avoiding me. Did I do something..."

"No," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Of course not."

"Oh, good." He smiled at her and pulled something out of the bag. He wiggled it in front of her, and when she finally smiled, he laughed. "I saw it, and I just...I thought of you." He bit his lip. "I think of you...a lot."

"Very cute," she said, taking the plush teddy bear out of his hands. She felt her heart skip; this was the first gift he'd given her as...whatever it was he was to her now. "Thank you."

He bent over to kiss her, and sighed against her lips when she kissed him in return. He loved kissing her lips, the way real lovers kiss, the way he'd wanted and waited for so long. "Wanna tell me why you were purposely ignoring me all day?" he asked as he sat beside her

She reached into the bag for a burrito and sighed. "I wasn't. I just...I had a lot to do, El. This case...it's getting to me. I can't stop thinking about that little girl, and...on top of everything else..."

"Meaning me," he said. "I didn't mean to confuse you, to complicate things, I just..." he stopped and dropped his plate to the table. He turned to face her. "You still don't know how serious I am, do you?"

She shrugged as she bit into her soft tortilla, her eyes falling from his.

"Fine," he said, rising. "I'll prove it." He took her hand and pulled her up, taking the burrito from her. He tossed it onto the table and pulled her behind the couch, and turned her around. "Close your eyes," he whispered.

She raised an eyebrow as he pressed her into the back of the sofa. "El, what are you..."

"Just close your eyes," he repeated, more demanding. Satisfied that she couldn't see anything, he ran his fingers over her shoulders and back, lightly and delicately. He felt the sparks ignite at his fingertips, and he knew she could, too.

A light moan escaped, slipping from her slightly parted lips. She felt him gingerly unbuttoning her shirt, loosening the snaps on her pants, stripping her slowly. "El, baby, you don't have..."

"Shh," he whispered, turning her head away from him. "Just feel. Breathe. Relax." He kissed the patch of soft skin between her shoulder blades and said, "If you can't see me, all you can do is feel. You won't have a choice." He kissed a trail down her spine and pulled his own pants off. "You'll know."

She shook her head, unwilling to believe he could force her to confront what she'd been trying to deny all day. He was right, she mused. She had been ignoring him, because she didn't know how to act around him now. She didn't know what they were, or what they weren't, and here she was, naked, pressed up against her couch, being forced to decide that for herself.

He ran his hands over her again, slowly tracing the lightly raised scars that scattered across her body, and he rested his hands on her hips. He took a breath and moved close to her, holding himself flush against her. He closed his eyes, then, too, as he shifted and pushed, moaning softly as he buried himself in her.

She felt herself slip away, losing all control, giving in to him. She reached up, around his neck, and nuzzled into him as he moved within her. Words failed her, but she could show him she needed him.

He rubbed his cheek against hers, murmuring softly as he built a slow rhythm. He was afraid to open his eyes, afraid to see the look on her face. He flew like a stone when it came to her; the more he tried to pull away the harder he fell back to her. He finally stopped fighting it, and was determined to get her to cave, too. His right hand grazed over the front of her body, skimming over her nipples. He moaned when she gasped, and he held her tighter.

She felt him kissing her neck, behind her ear, and she let her head fall forward as he moved a bit faster. They were so in tune with each other, they could give what was wanted without being asked. That's what he meant, what he needed to prove to her. Her face sunk deeper into the back of the couch as she let herself think the words she couldn't say.

"No," he whispered. "Up here," he moaned. He tugged on her hair, hard enough to get a good response from her, but not hard enough to hurt her. He smirked as her head bent backward and he kissed her, powerful and firm, as he slammed into her. He kissed along her jaw, down her neck, pulling on her hair again, and he lost himself in his thrusting, lost himself in her.

She couldn't keep her eyes open, couldn't keep her mouth shut. Before she realized, she was biting the back of the sofa, screaming into the cushioned fabric as her body quaked against his. She reached behind her and scratched at the front of his legs, feeling him still thrusting madly and she felt his hot breath on her neck which only made her shiver more.

"Baby, you can't deny it now," he whispered into her ear, nipping at the thin skin behind it. "You can't. Tell me you can't. Can you?"

She couldn't speak, could do little more than shake her head, as she felt him slowing his thrusts but making them deeper. She whimpered as she felt him lifting her right leg, hooking it over his right arm, forcing her to bend a bit further into the couch in front of her.

He peppered her neck with kisses before finding her pulse, beating heavily and quickly beneath her skin. He grunted as his teeth sank into her flesh, over the drumming rhythm of her heartbeat, and he came with a violence that shocked even him. He stayed latched to her as he cursed and moaned, slamming into her as his body shook against hers.

She screamed, his name or some variant of it, into the couch and dug her nails into the skin of his thighs, a second blissful wave rolling through her with force and speed.

His vision blurred as he growled and shook hard, pressing her tighter against the back of the couch. It took a moment to regain the strength to lift his head but once he did, he kissed her neck.

She made a noncommittal sound of contentment as he spun her around and she looked into his eyes as he inched slowly toward her. The way he kissed her made her toes curl, made her heart ache for him, her body burn for him despite the fact that it was spent and exhausted already.

He pulled away from the gentle kiss with an odd look in his eyes. "Say something," he whispered. "Anything."

She bit her lip as silence built along with the tension between them. She dropped her eyes and she heard him sigh, then she watched, stunned, as he started to gather his clothes and pull them back on. The words caught in her throat as she panicked.

"Okay, great," he huffed, zipping his jeans. He tugged on his shirt and shook his head as he slipped his feet back into his shoes. "So that's it? We just go back to pretending that this as all just giving each other what we fucking need?" He ran a hand down his face and laughed bitterly. "I'm glad you can turn your feelings off and on like a faucet, Liv, but I can't."

She stood, naked and cold, missing the warmth of his body and his touch, against the couch. She was letting him leave because she was too proud and too afraid to admit what had built on her tongue.

"I'll see you tomorrow," he mumbled, shaking his head. He grabbed the knob and turned it, but her voice stopped him, dead in his tracks.

"I don't wanna hurt you," she said, a crack in her voice that would have been a cry if she had any tears left. "And I don't wanna get hurt."

He took his hand off of the knob and turned sharply, looking into her eyes. He moved toward her fast, pulling her into his arms, crashing his lips into hers.

The dance was well choreographed by now but was always new, always different. The fight for control never lost, yet never won by either. The way their hands moved, as if rediscovering the all too familiar hills and valleys of each other.

She pushed him away from her and gasped for air, her forehead pressed to his. "You didn't hear me," she panted.

"I heard you," he said, nodding. "That was my way of telling you that I'm not gonna hurt you." he brushed her hair back and blinked at her. "You can't tell? The way I kiss you...the way I touch you..." he scraped his teeth along his lip and shook his head. "What just happened here, Liv, you felt it. I know you did. I'm not gonna hurt you."

"You're not...you're the one I'm worried about getting hurt," she whispered, her eyed turning up slightly.

He laughed and said, "Oh, honey. You're not gonna hurt me, either. I'm a stubborn son of a bitch, and if you couldn't get rid of me at work no matter how hard you tried, there's no way I'm letting you get rid of me now." He kissed her forehead and whispered, "I can feel it, too, ya know. When you kiss me, when you touch me. It's the same..."

She pressed a finger to his lips. "Feeling it isn't enough, El." She swiped the pad of her finger over his lips before she kissed him.

"What do you want, Liv?" he asked softly, defeated. "I already told you I..."

"I'm trying..." she looked from his eyes to his hands, clasping hers, and suddenly the words didn't matter. She looked up at him, his worried eyes waiting and watching, and she moved toward him, pulling his arms around her and kissing him. Her nipples rubbed against the rough cotton of his shirt and she trembled, moaning softly.

"What were you saying?" he asked, smirking against her lips.

She moaned again as he began to move, guiding them toward her bedroom. She shook her head and whispered, "You can feel it, right?"

He nodded. "You don't have to say it," he told her, laying her down on the bed. He pulled his shirt off, for the second time that night, and said, "You will when you can. As long as I know...you do."

She nodded as he closed the gap between them, kissing her, draping over her like a blanket.

He trailed his fingers up her stomach and teased the skin of her navel, and her twitching encouraged him to push on. "God damn it," he spat, hearing the shrill bleep of his cell phone. He kissed her once as he rolled his eyes and moved away from her, digging into his jeans pocket to find the offensive device.

She watched him talk, knowing what it meant, and she scooted out of the bed. Shuffling toward the closet, she looked from him to her clothes, back and forth, as if deciding something. He had a right to know, she thought, pulling on fresh clothes. She just hoped she could find the strength to tell him why she was so afraid to let herself go.

**A/N: But he already knows...?**


	5. Lie

**A/N: Love taught me to lie**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

"Hey," Fin said, slapping Elliot on the back, "Listen, uh, I got this date tonight...I, uh, I get nervous with this girl. You think you and your girl..."

"No," Elliot answered too fast. He brought the hot coffee mug to his lips and sipped, then cleared his throat. "She, um, she's...look, I'm not ready to bring her around anyone yet." He shrugged and hit his friend in the arm. "Ask Munch. I'm sure he..."

"The last thing I wanna do on a first date is expose this hot chick to a night of conspiracy and weirdness," Fin said, shaking his head. "Think about it?"

Elliot looked from Fin to Olivia, who was trying to look as if she hadn't heard the entire exchange. "Not tonight, Fin," he said, sipping his coffee. "Really, just...I'm sorry."

Fin sighed and folded his arms. "Yeah, I get it," he said. "No prob, man. Next time?"

"Sure," Elliot said with a smile, walking toward his desk. He sat, then sipped his coffee again. "Where are you on the..."

"You didn't even ask me," Olivia interrupted, looking at him across their desks.

He raised an eyebrow and pouted slightly. "I know you don't want..."

"How do you know?" she interrupted, folding her arms.

He exhaled, frustrated, and said, "Liv, I know you, okay? I know this is weird for you. It's not exactly easy for me either. I've been talking about this girl...you...for months, now, and Fin knows things...if he finds out it's you like that he's gonna hate me for not trusting him with it sooner." He shook his head and said, "We both need...time."

She tilted her head and gave him a long look as he flipped open a folder. "You know me, huh?" she asked. "How well do you think..."

"I know," he said, looking up at her sharply, his eyes severe. "I know what you went through with Dean, and I...I wanna give you the time and attention you deserve, alone, before I drag you out to things and start introducing you to all of our friends and colleagues as my..."

"This has nothing to do with Dean," she said, her brow furrowed.

He curled the corners of his lips and dropped his hands to his desk. "He rushed the fuck out of you, he was planning a wedding and you were still trying to wrap your head around leaving your toothbrush at his place." He took a breath and shrugged. "I know it's different with us, I know where we are now is...somewhere neither of us has ever been...but that doesn't mean I wanna scare the shit out of you any more than I already have."

She let the tension in her jaw fade and she gave him a soft smile. "You just lied to your best friend," she said, picking up her pen.

"I have never lied to you," he said pointedly, grabbing the pen out of her hands. "Lying to other people...at least for a little while...I can handle."

She shook her head and took her pen back. "Thank you," she said, almost a whisper. "I didn't realize you knew..."

"Liv," he said, cutting her off, "I know you. Everything about you. I don't doubt you know everything about me, either, so I know you know that I wasn't ready to go out tonight either." He rubbed his hand down his face. "We have to try going on an actual date alone before we go on one with our friends," he joked, winking at her.

She chuckled at him as she watched him yank the pen out from between her fingers, and she stared as he filled out the missing information in the file he was holding. She took another deep breath and turned her attention to her own paperwork, thankful that he was so understanding. She was worried, though, about how long he would understand.

* * *

><p>He opened the door to his apartment, the sound of rushing water hitting his ears. He grinned as he dropped the grocery bag down on the coffee table, and he hung up his coat on the rack. He toed off his shoes and pulled off his tie as he walked toward the noise, and he chuckled to himself once he made it to the bathroom door.<p>

He unbuttoned his shirt with one hand as he twisted the knob with the other, pushing the door open. Instantly, he was hit with a wave of steam and the image of her body silhouetted behind the frosted glass shower doors. He smirked, pulling off his shirt, and he stayed as quiet as he could as he worked off the rest of his clothes.

He slid open the glass panel, and he smiled at her when she turned around. "You look good wet," he said softly, sliding the door shut.

She rolled her eyes and squeezed the water out of her hair. "I've heard that before," she said. "You were gone a while. Mister Chow's was…"

"I didn't get takeout," he said, looping his hands around her dark locks. He reached for the shampoo on the shelf and squeezed some into the hair he was holding. As he massaged and lathered her hair and scalp, he said, "I'm gonna cook tonight."

She raised both eyebrows though her eyes were closed. She leaned backward into him as he washed her hair. "Why?"

He kissed her forehead as he led her under the shower to rinse the soap out of her strands. "I want to," he said. "It's been a long time since I made us an actual dinner." He smiled and ran his hands down her body, following the paths of several drops of water as they flowed along her curves. "I also brought you…something special."

"Really?" she asked with a smirk, her hands sliding up his back taking the bar of Ivory soap with them. "What is it?"

He laughed and kissed her. "It's a surprise," he whispered, nipping at her ear. He grabbed the soap out of her hand and squeezed, working the suds around it, and he kept his lips attached to hers as he moved the whit bar over her arms.

She moaned and gripped his back, digging her nails into his skin, as she felt him sliding the soap down her stomach, and she heard the plop as it fell out of his hands.

His fingers kept moving, slipping down between her legs, swooping up her slit, and he chuckled against her lips. "Like I said," he mumbled, kissing her neck, "You look so good wet."

She laughed then moaned as he pushed his fingers into her, and he pressed against her, holding her against the shower tiles. "El," she breathed, scraping her nails down his back to his ass. She cupped his firm body and pulled him closer as she said, "My God, Elliot."

He nuzzled into her neck, nipping at her skin as his fingers worked into and out of her. He swiveled his thumb over her clit and gasped when he felt her slippery hand grasp his hardened length. "Wasn't expecting you to…"

"Shh," she silenced him, then she kissed him, moving her hand faster and holding him tighter. She moved her leg, accidentally hitting the dial on the shower, and the water ran over them hotter. She seethed when he moved his fingers and thrust into her, her body heat rising to rival the temperature of the water.

He buried his head into the crook of her neck and moaned, long and low, and he said, "You feel so good." He hiked her leg up higher on his body, he moved faster, and he lifted his head. He stared into her eyes, searching for something.

She bit her lip as she looked back at him just as intently, just as seriously. She was looking for the same thing he was, but she didn't find it. It wasn't there. Fear and doubt were not in his eyes, no matter how deeply she searched for them.

He smiled at her, seeing something shift in her expression, and he closed his mouth over hers as his body hit into her. "Liv," he moaned, rocking his hips against hers, trying to get deeper inside of her. "Fuck, Liv," he grunted, his head dropping, moving lower until he sucked a wet nipple into his mouth.

"Shit," she barked, her head flying back against the tiles. She moaned and writhed for a moment, then laughed when he let her go and looked at her with a mischievous grin. She wrapped her hands around his neck, pulled him into her for another kiss, and met him thrust for thrust as the water ran over them, making it harder to keep the friction built between them. "Elliot," she whispered into his mouth, "I'm not…"

"I know," he interrupted, kissing her again as he slowed his movements and slammed harder into her. "Fuck," he hissed, slamming one hand against the shower wall. He felt her tighten, felt her clamp around him, and he bit her bottom lip as he kissed her.

She screamed his name into his mouth, clawing at his skin and rolling her body in waves against him as she felt herself blow apart. She trembled, trying to hold onto him, as he kept moving to push himself over the edge. She scratched up and down his back and felt the burning building up again. She whimpered into their kiss, and she almost cried.

He mumbled something as he kissed her and he cursed when he felt her tighten again. "Shit, baby," he spat, thrusting twice more, hearing his skin slap against hers. He kissed her hard, holding tight to her leg and her neck as he shot hotly into her. He finally stilled, breathing heavily, as his head dropped to her chest.

A moment passed, silently, before he pulled out of her and let her slide down to her feet. He kissed her again as he turned off the water, and he pulled open the shower door.

She grabbed two towels off of the bar and pulled them into the shower, handing one to him before wrapping herself in the fluffy, pink, terry cloth. "Damn," she laughed, shaking her head.

"What?" he asked, tying the towel around his waist and climbing out of the shower. He held out a hand for her, then closed the glass doors as he led her to the wooden one.

She shrugged as she turned the knob, shivering slightly when the cool hallway air hit her skin. "Wasn't expecting that," she said with a hard sigh.

Still holding her hand, he pulled her toward the living room, leaving wet footprints along the way. He grabbed the paper bag off of the coffee table, then walked with her into the kitchen. "I wasn't either," he admitted. "I heard the water running, and thinking of you in there…naked…hot…wet…"

"Oh, I get it," she chuckled, sitting on one of the stools near the bar. "So what are you making?"

He smirked, taking the food out of the bag, and he turned to her. "For you," he said, holding out a bunch of trimmed, pink roses.

Her eyes changed as she reached for the flowers. "El," she whispered, giving them a sniff. "They're beautiful."

He tapped her nose and said, "Nothing compared to you."

She dropped the roses onto the bar, then tilted her head. "I never thought you…I mean, I knew you had a romantic side, I just never…"

"Thought you'd see it?" he questioned, grinning. "Baby, this is…you're gonna see it. A lot. There's more to me than the pissed off cop who likes it rough, and now that…now that we are both ready to admit what this really is…I'm allowed to show you that." He looked at her for a second. "Right?"

She smiled at him. "Yeah," she said, laughing as he leaned over the bar and kissed her.

He winked at her as he turned back to the stove and started chopping into a head of lettuce. "Wanna help?"

"I don't cook," she said firmly, lifting the flowers into her hands again. She smiled as she gave them another long sniff, and she sighed happily as she slid off her stool to get a vase. She barely had her hand on the cabinet handle when her cell phone rang.

Elliot looked at her, almost horrified. "No," he moaned. "Not tonight."

She gave him an apologetic look and walked toward the coffee table, grabbing her phone before it finished playing the song. "Benson," she spat into it. She looked at Elliot. "Um, no. I don't know where he is. I'll call him, though. Yeah. Right, Cap. On it." She hung up and sighed. "We got a vic at Mercy Gen…"

"You told him you didn't know where I was," Elliot interjected, pushing what would have been a nice dinner to the back of his counter.

She rolled her eyes. "You wanted me to say, 'Oh, yeah, Cap. He's right in front of me, wearing nothing but a towel?' El, how would I know where you are if we aren't together?"

"Shit," he sighed. "Sorry. He probably called my cell, but it's in my pants, in the bathroom." He walked toward her and kissed her softly. "We'd better get dressed and go."

She nodded, kissing him again, and she said, "We can grab a hot dog or something on the way." She kissed him again and then walked with him into the bedroom. She moved toward the dresser, pulling open the only drawer she had clothes in, and she looked at Elliot. "I was thinking…"

"Uh oh," he teased, dropping his towel and pulling on a clean shirt.

She smacked his shoulder as she pulled off her own towel. "Seriously," she said, "I think…maybe I need another drawer here." She bit her lip and waited.

He smiled at her and kissed her. "Absolutely," he whispered to her. And he finished getting dressed, knowing that she was almost ready to tell him what he so desperately needed to hear. He could say he didn't mind, that he could wait, as often as he wanted, but he realized it was nothing more than a lie. The only one he would ever tell her.

He needed to hear the words, and when she said them, his reaction would surprise them both.

**A/N: Is she gonna say it? Not before jumping another hurdle.**


	6. Die

**A/N: Life taught me to die**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

"All right," the doctor said, scrawling his name on a clipboard. "That's everything, Detective Benson." He shoved the clipboard toward Elliot, not bothering to look at him.

Olivia smiled as she took the box of bagged and sealed evidence from him. "Thanks, Doctor…"

"How long have we known each other?" the doctor interrupted, smirking at her.

She raised an eyebrow and tilted her head. "You mean how long have I been coming in here to deal with you and rape victims?" She shook her head and cleared her throat.

Elliot looked at the doctor's face, knew what that leering grin meant, and grumbled, "That doesn't count as knowing each other."

"Exactly," the doctor said, leaning toward Olivia. "I've worked with you for years, Detective, and I don't even know your first name. I don't know what you look like out of that suit." He licked his lips and chuckled. "You've never seen me without my stethoscope."

Olivia folded her arms and rolled her eyes. "Okay, Doctor Reynolds, this is…"

"Dinner," the man cut her off again. "Thursday night, after my shift. What do you say?" He brushed his hand over her arm and looked into her eyes with what he thought was seduction. "You're a beautiful woman, Detective. I'd love to spend some time alone with you, away from the trauma of our…working relationship."

Pulling her arm back, she tossed her hair a bit and tried her best not to seem flattered. "Doctor…"

"Clark," he interjected with a bright smile. "Please."

"Clark," she said with a nod, "I don't think that's a good idea. Mixing business with pleasure…it can get messy."

Clark narrowed his eyes and lowered his voice. "I like messy," he whispered.

Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "You have my card," she said. "Call me." Then she gave him a severe look. "The next time a victim comes in."

Clark sighed and shook his head as he watched her walk away. "Damn," he mumbled to himself, then he turned and headed down the hall, trying to forget her and her rejection.

"What the hell was that?" Elliot asked, running after Olivia through the hospital doors.

She turned to look over her shoulder as she clutched the box of evidence. "What was what?" She kept her pace steady as she headed for the maroon sedan.

Elliot opened her door for her, waited for her to get in, then slammed it shut. He ran around to the driver's side and sat with a huff, shutting his own door hard. "That!" he snapped, turning the key. "In there. With…Clark." He said the doctor's name with venomous disdain.

"Oh, my God," she laughed, rolling her eyes yet again. "Are you serious?" She licked her lips and looked at him with a curious expression, her fingers drumming along the sides of the box on her lap. "He asked me out, El. I do get asked out on dates, ya know. It happens."

"How often does it happen?" he asked, turning the wheel too hard, making the tires squeal.

Her eyes wide now, she gripped the handle of the door and took a harsh breath. "Jesus Christ, Elliot! Are you…you're jealous?"

"No," he barked, pumping the gas pedal a bit and swerving to change lanes. "Of course not. I have no right to be jealous. Technically, we aren't…" he stopped, listening to himself. "Maybe I am."

She smiled at him, then turned her head to look out the window. "Okay," she said, nodding once.

"Okay? Okay? Liv…nothing about that was okay!" He hit the steering wheel as he turned into the parking lot of their station house. "I can't…how do I know you're not gonna…"

"Elliot," she said, stopping him, "You have nothing to worry about. Trust me." She sighed harshly and got out of the car, walking faster than necessary toward the front doors of the building.

"Fuck," he grumbled, turning the car off and rushing to catch up with her. He followed her, silent and brooding, as she pulled open a back door and headed for the lab. He stayed quiet as he walked with her into the medical examiner's office and he leaned up against the door frame as he listened to her talk to Doctor Warner.

Olivia left the box and bags on Warner's desk and ran her hand through her hair as she turned to leave. She caught Elliot's eyes, shook her head in annoyance, and brushed past him.

"Hey!" he called to her, reaching into his pocket. "This way."

She turned, raising an eyebrow. "The elevator is…"

"Liv, come on," he sighed, his left hand still fishing around in the back of his pants. "I need to talk to you."

She stilled for a moment, then moved toward him, eager to get over what had happened and get back to work. "You know I didn't even let that guy really ask…"

"I know," he interrupted, holding a door open for her.

She furrowed her brow at him, but walked into the room with folded arms. "If you know then why…what the hell?" She gasped when she felt him pull on her wrist and twist her arm.

He chuckled as he grabbed her other hand and squeezed his handcuffs around her wrist. He pulled her arms up, and he locked them together over a thick pipe hanging from the ceiling. "So I was jealous."

"I got that," she snapped, pulling on her bound wrists. "What the fuck are you doing?"

"You're mine," he hissed, dragging his fingers down her upstretched arms. He bit his lip and moaned a bit when she twitched as he trickled his fingertips over her sides. He gripped her waistband, tugging at it as he looked into her eyes.

She twisted, still trying to yank her hands down from off the pipe, but her eyes were fixed to his. "Elliot, this isn't funny, you have to…"

He stopped her words, his mouth covered hers and his tongue slipped between her parted lips. His fingers worked the clasp on her pants apart, he shoved his thumb into the elastic of her panties and started to push them over her hips with her black slacks. "You could have gone out with that guy," he whispered, barely brushing his lips over hers.

Her ragged breath made her chest heave against his as she tried to process what he was doing, and she nodded. "I could have, yeah. But I didn't."

"Why not?" he asked, nipping at her bottom lip. "You could have used it as a way out, you could have run from this. From me." Both of his palms curved over her now bare hips and he caressed the curves of her thighs and her ass, his own breathing quickening.

She closed her eyes, moaning lowly as one of his fingers slipped through her heated flesh, swiping up her slit. "You know why," she choked out, her voice failing her.

His left hand kept teasing at her slit while his right worked open his belt and shirked off his pants. "I need you to tell me," he said firmly. "It's killing me…not really knowing…not believing…" he paused to swallow, the pain in his words and lust in eyes contradicted each other as he pushed a thick finger into her.

She inhaled sharply as she felt him twist his finger, and she opened her eyes to look into his. "El, what are you…"

"Shh," he silenced, his pants dropping around his ankles. He pulled his finger out of her and slid two in in its place. His thumb swiped over her clit and he smirked when her dangling body bucked, clearly aching for more. He grabbed her leg with his free hand and lifted it, hooking it around his waist, and he pressed into her with a dark look in his eyes.

She moaned, seeing something in him now that frightened her, turned her on, and pissed her off all at once. She gave a hard tug on her cuffed hands, then bent her head forward to kiss him.

He accepted her kiss hungrily, ravishing her mouth and devouring her taste as he thrust his fingers faster. He drew circles over her clit with his thumb as he sank his teeth into her bottom lip and tugged.

She groaned and whispered his name when his fingers dug into the flesh of her thigh around his waist. She knew he was holding her tight enough to leave a hand-shaped bruise on her leg, but she didn't care. She angled her head and grazed her teeth over his neck. "Yours," she whispered, finally acknowledging what he wanted to hear.

"Fuck, yeah you are," he growled, now moving his fingers faster. He looked up for a moment, ensuring the boiler room was empty, something he should have done long ago. He squeezed her leg and dragged his hand upward, almost massaging her as he moved. He slid his hand up her back then grabbed a fistful of her hair, wrapping his hand in her locks.

"Oh, God," she gasped, unable to control anything, feeling the fire rise in her body. "El," she moaned, rolling her hips in waves as he brought her closer and closer to sweet release.

He chuckled, staring at her as he slammed his fingers into and out of her over and over again. "Come on, baby," he coaxed. "Don't fucking fight this," he seethed.

Her teeth sank into his shoulder as he sped up the flicking of his thumb. She growled around his skin, her body shook and burned, and she suckled on his pulse as she felt her other leg rising, joining its twin around his waist.

He felt her hook her ankles together and he chuckled, then he slipped his fingers out of her slowly. He brought his hand to his lips, and he looked at her with narrow eyes as he sucked his fingers clean. His hand dropped to her ass and he squeezed hard as he kiss her deeply, thrusting forward and catching her scream in his mouth.

Still trembling with her first intense orgasm, she was spurred almost immediately into a second when he rammed himself into her and started a slow, deep rhythm. She knew, by his actions and his words, that he was claiming her. "El, fuck, Elliot," she moaned, her voice wavering slightly.

He bent his head and dragged his teeth over her neck, feeling her hard pulse against his lips. "You want this," he said, his hands firmly grasping her ass and holding her tight against him as he pounded into her. "You want me."

She screamed his name as his teeth dug into the bend of her neck, and her hands clenched into fists above her head. "Yes," she answered once his name had rolled off of her tongue.

The ferocious growl that rumbled in him as he sucked and bit at her neck scared even him, but he couldn't control it. He pulled out of her completely with each stroke and slammed back in, ensuring their flesh would meet every time, his pelvis brushing against her clit and earning deep moans.

Her legs tightened around him, she felt his fingers, like claws, dig sharply into her already claimed bottom, and she lost her last ounce of resolve. Her head fell back, her hands arms went limp as they hung over her head, and she knew that her neck was purpling and swelling in her lover's mouth. "God, Elliot," she whimpered.

He moved his mouth away from her neck, and he examined the teeth marks closely before licking at the bruise and kissing his way up to her mouth. He moaned and grunted as he kissed her, loving the way she met his eager, animalian mouth.

They nipped at each other's lips and tongue, gnashed their teeth together, and one of Elliot's hands scratched up the length of her body to pull again at her hair. He slowed his thrusts but slammed harder, punctuating each powerful hit with a grunt. "Look at me," he demanded almost desperately.

She opened her eyes and lifted her head as much as she could, and she held his gaze as he drove into her. "So close," she whispered, her body starting to quake again.

He nodded fast, then pulled her hair hard to bring her head toward his. He pressed his forehead into hers and felt her clenching and pulsing around him. "Oh, fuck, honey," he moaned as he slammed into her one final time. He held her against him and ground their bodies together as he shot into her, feeling his entire body throb as she vibrated around him.

They remained like that, tangled together, bitten and bruised, foreheads touching in a seemingly too-gentle manner. They felt each other's heart thudding fast, and Olivia was the first to move, uncrossing her feet behind him.

When his breathing returned to normal, he reached up and twisted the key in the left cuff, letting her arms finally drop. He laughed when they fell loosely around his neck, and he kissed her lips. He reached behind him and removed the silver bracelets from her hands completely, still kissing her softly.

"What was this, El?" she asked softly, feeling him easing her off of his body and dropping her easily to her feet.

He shrugged as he bent to pick up his pants, and he adjusted them as he shook his head. "I needed you to know," he said as he buckled his belt. "I'm serious."

She zipped her own pants and ran her fingers through her hair, then gingerly touched the mouth-shaped mark on her neck. "You said it was killing you…" she began. "Not knowing…what?"

He rubbed a hand down his face and took another deep breath as he put his cuffs back in his pocket. "Forget it," he said, straightening out his shirt, jacket, and tie.

She tugged on her blazer and moved toward him, and she cupped his face with both of her hands. "El," she said, forcing him to look at her. "I'm yours. You proved that."

"Yeah," he nodded, his voice still barely a whisper.

She smiled at him. "And you're mine." She kissed the end of his nose, his lips, and turned her eyes up a bit. "It's been killing me, too, ya know."

"What?" he asked, his palms now resting over her hands against his cheeks.

"Not telling you," she said, dropping her hands, "How much I love you." She saw the light in his eyes flicker, she heard him gasp softly, and she pulled back from him. Her heart was hammering in her chest, every hair stood on end, and she turned away from him.

He was stunned, almost delirious, as he watched her leave the boiler room. He finally took a much needed breath and moved after her, but he knew, now, just how much trouble they were really in, and how much further he had fallen in the last few seconds.

It was a huge step, he knew, but she was finally ready to take it, and that made his heart swell. Something else, though, would fall into their laps. Something neither was ready for. At all.

**A/N: And it might destroy them…or bring them closer together…hmmm**


	7. Fall

**A/N: It's not hard to fall...**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

Elliot walked into the squad room, tugging at his tie as he made his way over to his desk. He avoided looking at Olivia, knowing he would smile or give her a goofy-eyed expression. He kept his back to her as she was talking quite seriously to Fin, and he picked up a file on one of their suspects. He opened it as he caught a few words of what Fin was saying to Olivia.

"You know him," Fin said, leaning closer to Olivia. "Can you talk to him?"

"Why is it so important to you that he go with you tonight?" she asked, tilting her head.

Fin scratched his head and bit his lip. "The girl...the girl I'm seein'...she's someone we...work with." He cleared his throat and said, "I wanted to show her I was comfortable tellin' people about us. That' I'm not tryin' to hide it, ya know?" He shrugged. "I thought Stabler might the easiest to deal with first since...well, I always thought he had a thing for you. He'd understand."

Olivia heart stopped for a full beat, then she pressed her lips together. "I'll ask him, Fin," she said. "I'm not making any promises."

"Thanks," Fin said, sounding relieved.

"Who...uh...who is it?" Olivia asked, easing down into her rolling chair.

Fin smiled at her, sitting at his own desk. He picked up a pen and said, "She didn't tell you?"

"Apparently not," Olivia said, narrowing her eyes.

Fin took a breath and said, "Casey."

Elliot heard him, and his head snapped up to look at Olivia. She was looking at him, too, and she saw the question in his eyes. She bit her lip and looked down at the knot her hands had become, and she tried like hell to find an answer for him.

Munch hung up his phone, slamming it hard enough to get everyone's attention. "That was Warner," he said. "Something's funky in the kit you gave her."

"What?" Elliot asked, turning his chair around. "Compromised DNA?"

Munch peered over his glasses and said, "She said both samples are male. Your vic might not be a natural woman."

Olivia looked at Elliot, licked her lips, and got out of her seat. "I'll go back down to Mercy and talk to the doctor."

Elliot shot out of his seat fast. "I'm coming with you," he snapped, stepping up next to her fast.

"Yeah," she said, jumping back, a bit startled by his aggressiveness. "Why wouldn't you be?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and smoothed a hand over his tie, shaking his head. "Just…go." He jutted his chin toward the door.

She ripped the keys out of his hand and said, "I'm driving," then left the room before he could argue.

Elliot looked at Munch, sighed and shook his head, then followed after Olivia. He had no desire to see Doctor Reynolds again, but he knew the root of his jealousy. He smiled a bit as he walked, laughing at himself, and when he caught up to Olivia by the elevator he rested a hand on her lower back.

The contact got her attention and she snapped her head toward him. "Are you…"

"Liv," he interrupted, pushing her into the open metal doors, "Relax." He pulled her into the corner of the elevator and slid his hand from her back to her side, and his fingers wrapped around her hand.

She raised an eyebrow but didn't pull away from him. Instead, she offered him an easy smile and gave his hand a squeeze. They clutched each other's hands for the few seconds they were in the metal box, and when the doors slid opened, it almost seemed difficult to let go.

He was the first to give in, dropping her hand with a sigh, and he held the doors opened as he watched her step out of the lift. He met her eyes and he saw everything he needed to see, answering her with a smile. He followed her out into the parking lot, to the car, and he prayed that this wouldn't take long.

Olivia let out a small yawn as she started the car and she looked over at Elliot. "Oh," she said, pulling out of the lot, "Fin wanted me ask you if you would consider…"

"I heard," he interrupted, biting his lip. "It's…it's up to you." He sighed, scratching his head, and said, "It's Fin and Casey. I'm sure if we asked them…"

"Okay," she exhaled hard. "I'll talk to Doctor Reynolds, you call Fin. Find out where to meet him." She didn't realize her hands shaking as she spoke, but she certainly felt her heartbeat pound harder and faster. She gave Elliot a quick glance and saw the smile on his face. She hoped she made the right choice.

* * *

><p>"You okay?" Elliot asked, pulling the door to the bar open for Olivia. "You haven't said much since we left the hospital. You're not…you're not nervous about this, are you?"<p>

She took a breath and blinked up at him. "A little," she said with a shaky voice. "I'm still trying to…"

"He hasn't seen us yet," he interrupted. "We can leave now, I'll call him and tell him…"

"No," she cut him off and pressed a finger to his lips. "No, we should…we should do this." She ran the tip of her finger over his lips and leaned closer to him. "I know you want to tell him."

He let out a short, low, growl, and bent his head, capturing her lips in a kiss. "I want to tell the entire world," he whispered, brushing his lips down her neck. He nipped at the thin skin as he said, "I know we can't do that, yet, though."

She moaned, her eyes closing, and she wrapped her hands around his wrists. "It's risky, El," she said, pulling back away from him. She tugged on his hands as she moved through the bar, trying to find Fin and Casey, and she said, "I need to know…really know that this is serious before we do anything that could cost us our jobs, or…"

He stopped and yanked at his wrists, pulling her back toward him. He saw her turn, surprised, and he gritted his teeth. "I'm serious. This is serious. It has been since that first night with you, I just…I didn't realize what I was really feeling until recently. It doesn't mean that this was ever just a fucking…"

"Calm down," she said, her eyes wide as she stopped his tirade. "El, I meant…serious. Permanent. No danger of either of us…"

"Do you plan on leaving me anytime soon?" he asked, talking sharply over her. "Because there's no way in hell I'm leaving you, so how much more permanent do we need to be before…"

He was stopped when she kissed him, her hands wrapping around his neck and her fingers running though the short hair at the nape. Her tongue brushed over his and she felt him relax in her arms, his tension seemed to fade instantly at her touch.

He pressed her backward, into the wall near the door, and he slipped his hands under her shirt. He squeezed her nipples gently, making her moan into his mouth, and he chuckled when he dropped his hands to her hips. He slid one hand between her legs, pressing over her mound, feeling her heat, and he whispered, "You're not going anywhere." He nipped at her lips and said, "Tell me you're not."

She pulled back a bit, catching her breath, and nuzzled him. "I'm not going anywhere," she whispered, her hands grabbing his and pulling them away from her body. "But we're putting everything we have on the line here. Our careers, each other…I don't want to be forced to choose between you and my job. Not yet." She blinked. "You've always been a part of my job, El. I have always had both if I had you. I'm not ready to give that up."

He smiled at her and kissed her quickly. "Neither am I," he said softly. "I thought you meant…"

"I know what you thought," she said, her hands gripping his as she pushed him back a bit and moved away from the wall. "And you were wrong. Deal with it."

He laughed as he let her lead him toward a table in the back; she'd obviously spotted Fin and Casey. He smiled when they made it to their seats, and he pulled out Olivia's chair for her.

Fin raised an eyebrow. "Your girlfriend didn't wanna come?" he questioned, looking curiously at Elliot. "Uh, I told Casey that this would be…"

"Fin," Elliot said, holding up a hand. "Liv is…the woman I've been…involved with."

Casey choked on her drink and she snapped her head toward Olivia. "How long has this…wait, Elliot's the guy who made your head spin? Shit, Olivia, how could you keep this from me?"

Olivia narrowed her eyes and flattened a palm on the table. "Look who's talking! How long have you and Fin been together, huh?"

Casey paled, looked sheepishly at Fin, and then took another sip of her drink. "Right," she mumbled. "Sorry."

Fin, though, looked less than thrilled. "You lied to me," he said, sounding angry. "The last time we were here, and I asked you…you were talkin' about her, and she was right next to you?"

Elliot rolled his eyes. "Fin, this is…we weren't sure if you'd understand or how you'd react. I mean…"

"So you two have been keepin' this to yourselves for five months?" Fin snapped. "Every time you mentioned sex, or a date, or needin' to get home…you meant each other? Shit."

Olivia bit her lip as she reached for Elliot's hand. "Yeah," she nodded. "We didn't want to lie to anyone, we just…this didn't start out as an actual…relationship. It was just…"

"No, it…" Elliot interrupted, but he paused. "Okay, so maybe in the beginning it was just us…keeping each other happy and…it evolved, man." He furrowed his brow. "Aren't you the one who kept saying you could have sworn I was in love with her, even before my divorce?"

Fin scoffed. "I didn't think I was right," he spat. "Man, so now I guess I'm supposed to pretend I don't know anything, keep this from Cragen and Tucker for you?"

Elliot ran both hands through his hair and then dropped them to the table. "It would be appreciated, yeah," he said. Then he took a deep, heavy breath. "Look, do what you want, tell who you're gonna tell, I'll transfer out of the…"

"Man, come on," Fin hissed, "I'm not gonna tell anyone." He raised a hand to get a server's attention, the same way he did the last time they were in the bar together. "I just wanna know how long you two think you can keep this quiet."

"As long as we have to," Olivia said, finally wrapping her hand over Elliot's. "I'm not ready to lose him, in any way."

Casey tilted her head. "Hey, you know, you…you look different."

"Different how?" Olivia asked, her eyes narrow and her smile flat, almost confused.

Taking a sip of her drink, Casey pointed. "Your eyes are brighter, you don't look as hard as you did the last time I saw you." She dropped her glass to the table. "You stop working out?"

"No," Olivia said, shaking her head. "We go to the gym twice a week. I run every day," she said.

Casey looked at Olivia, long and hard, and she smiled. "Do you think…"

"Oh," Olivia huffed, rolling her eyes. "No. No way. I'm not, Case." She looked at Elliot. "I'm just…happy. For the first time, I'm honestly happy."

Casey smirked as she downed the last of her drink. "I'm happy for you," she said. "You deserve it. You both do." She looked at Fin and nudged him with her elbow. "You know you can't be mad at them for this."

Fin sighed and sipped his beer. "Whatever," he said, but then his eyes widened. "Aw, man! Everything you told me, man, that was all about her?" He squeezed his eyes shut. "That's like thinkin' about my sister, man. That's not cool!"

Elliot laughed, shaking his head, and he lifted his hand, entwined with Olivia's, to his lips. He kissed her knuckles, one at a time, then leaned toward her and kissed her neck, behind her ear, then pecked her lips. "I love you," he whispered to her, then he sat back and gazed at her.

She knew he didn't expect it, she knew he wasn't planning on hearing it, but she smiled at him as she grazed the pad of her thumb over the side of his hand. She shifted closer to him, and whispered, "I love you, too, El."

He kissed her again, pulling her tightly to him, and moaned against her lips, a blend of pleasure and relief.

Fin and Casey watched, laughing and rolling their eyes. But when Fin turned to address the server who'd finally appeared at their table, he saw someone sitting at the bar, who was also watching the display. He definitely was not laughing.

**A/N: Who?**


	8. Float

**A/N: When you float like a cannonball**

**DISCLAIMER: SVU and characters belong to Dick Wolf. This story belongs to TStabler.**

They walked hand in hand, out of the bar, unaware that they were being followed. They hadn't stayed long, only until things had smoothed over between them and Fin. Elliot let go of her hand once they reached his car in the parking lot, and he opened the trunk.

"Don't get in," he told her, seeing her reaching for the passenger side handle. He slammed the trunk closed and walked toward her, grabbing her hand again. He had a plastic bag in the other, and he tugged on her as he moved away from the car. "Night's not over yet."

"Where are we going?" Olivia asked, her eyes narrow, as Elliot pulled her down the street.

He laughed and turned to her. "It's a surprise," he said to her. He sped up a bit, forcing her to do the same.

It wasn't their intention, but the faster pace surprised their pursuer, and as they turned the corner, they lost him.

"Elliot! Damn it!" she yelled as he sped up yet again, her easy walk turning into a sprint. She ran with him for a few blocks, then he stopped, causing her to slam into his back. "What the hell, Stabler?"

He chuckled, shaking his head. "We're here," he said.

"We're at the park," she panted, raising one eyebrow at him. "What could possibly be..."

"Liv," he interrupted, taking a deep breath of his own, "Please? Just...come with me. I figured we could use this after the night we had."

She sighed and shrugged, then let him lead her into the park. Through the crunch of the frosted grass, she didn't hear the footsteps drawing closer from behind her.

Elliot tugged her deeper into the park, to a clearing near a tree, and he sat, still holding her hand. "Come down here," he said, pulling her.

She hesitated. "It's…"

"No excuses," he said, giving her hand one, final, hard yank.

She toppled over, choosing to break her fall in his lap. She laughed as she righted herself, and he spread his legs on either side of her to get her settled in the empty space.

He sighed and wrapped his arms around her, rested his head on her shoulder, and looked up. "I'm trying, okay?"

She narrowed her eyes and tried to look at him over her shoulder. "Trying to…what are you talking about?"

"I've never been good at this, Liv. The last date I had was in high school, so this…this is me…trying to be spontaneous, romantic." He kissed her neck and closed his eyes. "Is it working?" he whispered.

With a soft moan, she nodded. "Oh, yeah," she told him.

He smirked against her skin. "Good," he said, tightening his hold on her. He twisted her a bit, dipping her to the side and deepening their kiss. His left his snuck away from her and he reached into the plastic bag he brought.

She heard the rustling, but her confusion was put on the back-burner as she lost herself in his kiss.

He pulled back from her with a light moan, and he replaced his lips with a strawberry. He ran the fruit along her lips, watching her eyes dance before her lips parted. He smirked as she bit, and he pulled the rind away. "Good?"

Holding a hand near her mouth and chewing, she mumbled, "Very."

He laughed and reached back into the bag, grabbing a small plastic tub. He pulled the lid off of it, rested it on the grass beside him, and then reached over and wrapped two fingers around another red berry.

She raised an eyebrow as she watched him swirl the tip of the strawberry around in the sticky, amber honey from the container. She bit her lip gently when his eyes met hers.

He winked at her with a smile, then moved the berry toward her mouth, one hand cupped beneath it to catch any dripping honey. "Open up," he said, licking his own lips as he watched hers wrap around the fruit.

"Hmm," she mumbled, chewing, twitching as the honey dripped down her chin.

He moved fast, the tip of his tongue running along the sticky sweetness, then grazing the seam of her lips. He waited until she swallowed to really kiss her.

Deep in the shadows a few feet away, the man who'd followed them from the bar watched on, unable to look away though part of him desperately wanted to do just that. He watched Elliot reach for yet another strawberry with one hand as the other worked the buttons of Olivia's shirt open. He blinked only once as Elliot dipped the berry into the honeypot, then held it just above her mouth, teasing.

"El, what are you…" her words were cut off by a short gasp, her back arching as the cold honey drizzled onto her chin and neck.

Elliot's eyes darkened as he moved the berry, letting the honey drip onto her chest. He looked into her eyes as he bit into the fruit, chewed, and then bent his head.

"Oh, my God," she moaned, her head falling back. Her hand flew to the back of his head, resting there as he licked up the honey from her skin. "El," she whispered.

He moaned when his tongue slid up and into her mouth, the flavor of their kiss turning him on and waking up every part of his body. "Liv," he whispered, his hands crawling up her body.

She moaned, nipped at his bottom lip, and scratched her fingers through his hair along his scalp. Her moans grew louder when she felt him swipe his thumbs over her nipples through the cotton of her bra, and she whimpered when he stopped.

He continued kissing her, one hand dropping to her pants and one moving to his, and he struggled with working both flies open.

She waited until he shoved her pants over her hips, then pushed him away from her. The fire in her eyes was frightening, her lip was clenched between her teeth, and she worked her way onto his lap again. "Why here?" she panted, raking her nails over his chest. "Why now?"

"Here," he hissed, feeling her hand wrapping around his shaft, "Because it's dark, we're under the stars, the place is empty, it's romantic." He groaned as she stroked him to full hardness, his fingers toying with the band of the cotton panties still high on her hips. "Now, because I couldn't wait anymore."

She smirked at him, swiping her thumb over the head of him, dipping her nail gently into the small slit at the tip. "Couldn't wait for what?"

Through a throaty groan, he growled, "For you," and he pulled hard on the cotton, ripping the thin material off of her body.

She yelped and her eyes widened. "Wow," she breathed, staring at him.

He laughed and grabbed her hips, then leaned back against the tree behind him. He pulled her up, holding her gaze, and took a deep breath as she lowered herself onto him. He inhaled sharply as he felt her consume him, and though he brought her here to look up at the stars, he couldn't look at anything but her now.

She looked down at him as she rocked against him, moaning softly. She reached for his hands, taking them in hers, and she rocked her body again as she lifted his hands to her chest, placing his hands exactly where she wanted them.

He bit his lip as he squeezed her breasts gently, then pulled the cotton cups down to finally expose her flesh to the chilly night. He chuckled as he watched her nipples harden more against the cold, and he pinched and rolled them between his fingers.

"Oh, God," she moaned, rising and falling slowly, rocking hard against him with each pass, finding a pattern and a rhythm.

He slid his hands around her back, smoothed one up to her neck, and he pressed against her, forcing her down to him. His lips wrapped around one nipple as he began to move with her, raising his hips to slam up into her as she fell.

Soft moans and gentle cries of each other's names floated through the air to meet their watcher's ears, but by now he'd stopped looking. He was sitting on a bench, shaking his head, confused. But he could hear them, and what he heard made his heart pound. He could only imagine what they looked like, and even that was too much for him. Sighing, he rose from his bench and walked out of the park, trying to make sense of the couple he'd left on the grass.

"Elliot," she cried, oblivious to the shadowy figure moving away. "God, baby, harder," she begged, cupping the sides of his head and pulling him away from her chest. "Oh, God, El," she whimpered, bending forward to kiss him.

He kissed her madly, holding her down to him as he thrust upward into her, driving her closer and closer to the edge. He nibbled at her lips as the hand at the back of her neck trailed down and curved between them.

She let out a small scream into his mouth when his fingers found her clit between their writhing bodies. She dug her nails into his shoulders and pushed herself up a bit to look at him. As she looked down at him, her eyes wide and her lips parted, she felt her orgasm rip though her.

His eyes widened, then, too, as he felt her clench around him so tightly he couldn't move. "Fuck, Liv," he seethed, trying to pull, push, twist, anything. He felt her convulsing around him, her entire body vibrating on top of him, and he lost it. He groaned, grunted, and said her name once as he shot off, the release intense because he hadn't moved, it just happened.

Catching her breath, she unclenched her fists and dragged her hands over his chest. "Shit," she chuckled. "That was…"

"Really," he interrupted, "I can't move."

She laughed and tried to roll off of him, but then whimpered. "Neither can I," she said, kissing his lips.

He took a deep breath and held her as he found the strength to sit up. "I didn't say I wanted to move," he said, pulling her legs around him to make her comfortable on him and holding her close. "You okay?"

She shifted, moaning because he was still inside of her, and ran her hands down his arms. "More than okay," she said. Then she laughed and brushed the grass and dirt out of his hair. "I think we need to go home and…"

"Hey," he laughed, cutting her off. "At least now you know I'm not afraid of us getting dirty." He winked and watched her roll her eyes as he chuckled again.

"Come on, Stabler," she said, pulling herself away from him and standing. She picked up her pants, smiling as she remembered the exact moment they had flown completely off of her. She shook them out and pulled them on, watching Elliot.

He adjusted his own pants, brushed himself off, then walked over to her. He straightened out her bra, purposely stroking her sensitive nipples again. He smiled at her moans. "I love that sound," he told her, buttoning her shirt.

"I had no idea," she laughed, kissing him. She took his hand in hers, then bent to pick up the forgotten honey and berries. "This was…perfect."

He kissed her again and held her gaze as he said, "I love you."

She swiped her thumb over the side of his hand, and she tilted her head as she smiled at him. She realized how hard she had fallen for him, how fast it had happened, and how ready she was to really admit it to herself, and to him. "I love you, too, El."

He leaned in, kissing her, and wound his fingers into her hair. "I love when you tell me you love me," he whispered, kissing the end of her nose.

"Yeah, well," she shrugged, turning and pulling him toward the gate. She looked over her shoulder at him and smiled. "Get used to it."

He laughed and walked with her out of the park, holding her hand tight as he led her back toward the bar, toward their forgotten sedan. He was so lost in her, consumed by her, that he didn't even notice the man walking behind them.

**A/N: Who is it? **


	9. Song

**A/N: Still a little bit of your song in my ear**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

Her mind wandered, as she tried to read the witness statements for her upcoming trial, and she couldn't help the smile that spread across her face. She thought of him, his smile, his arms around her, his eyes and the way they lit up when she was with him. She thought back to their night at the park, and their morning in his bed, and how terrified she was of it all. Not of it happening, the fear of that had subsided. Now, she terrified that it would all end.

"You okay over there?" Fin called to her, grinning. "You look…happy."

She lifted her head and turned to him, her smile not shrinking. "I am happy, Fin." She laughed as she checked her watch. "What the hell is taking so long?" she mumbled. "He should have been back by now, he was only bringing files to Novak."

Fin rolled his eyes. "You know Stabler," he said. "Probably stopped to get coffee, a donut, and you know he's probably taking the long way back to avoid all that trial prep."

She laughed and nodded, then returned her attention to the file in her hands. She sighed as she leaned back, and her thoughts began to drift again. To him.

"Benson," Cragen spat, rushing out of his office into the squad room, "You need to get down to Mercy. Now."

Olivia looked up at him, then tilted her head. "I should probably wait for Elliot to get back from…"

"Olivia," Cragen interrupted, "He's already there."

She saw it in his eyes, the paleness of his face. Her heart stopped and she couldn't breathe. "Wh...what? What happened?"

"He was involved in a shooting," Cragen said, "He's okay, but…"

"I'm going," she barked, fumbling through her pockets nervously, looking for her keys. "I can't…I don't…" she sniffled. "He took the car, I…"

"Fin, take her," Cragen said fast, turning to his left.

Without hesitation, Fin stood and took Olivia by the arm. "Come on, Baby Girl," he whispered, "I got you."

She rubbed her eyes, sniffled again, and let him lead her out of the room, growing colder and more numb with every step she took. "Fin, I…" she stopped, her voice taken by an invisible force, the same impetus that seemed to be making her tremble and shake. Fear.

"Shh," Fin hushed, rubbing her arm. "He's okay. Okay?"

She nodded as she followed Fin down the stairs, thankful that he knew how important it was to run. She heard nothing but the sound of her own heart beating rapidly, and Elliot's voice in her hears, telling her he loved her.

* * *

><p>The car was barely parked when she threw the door open and bolted, running toward the sliding doors of the hospital, leaving Fin in the dust. She pushed aside doctors, orderlies, waiting patients, and ran toward the front desk. Breathless, she held up her badge and tried to speak.<p>

Knowing what she needed, the triage nurse said, "Room One-Oh-Seven, Detective Benson," and pointed down the hallway to her right.

Olivia nodded her thanks before barreling in that direction, finding the room. Her heart thudded as she vividly recalled the last time he'd been involved in a shootout. He had been in the same room then; it seemed like a lifetime ago. She'd been terrified she was going to lose him; his injuries were severe, yet back then, he wasn't truly hers to lose the way he was now.

She rested her trembling hand on the knob and turned, taking a breath as she opened it. A relieved sigh escaped her as she saw that he was sitting up, drinking a glass of water. "What happened?" she asked, watching his body ripple as he moved, the bandages around his forearm wrinkling. "You're...you're..." she trailed off, shaking her head.

He put his cup down and crooked his finger, beckoning her to him. When she ran to him and wrapped her arms around him, he closed his eyes. "I'm fine," he whispered, then kissed her temple. "Relax."

Still shaking, she buried her head in the crook of his neck. "El, please," she pled in a whisper. "Just tell me what happened. Was it someone trying to stop the trial, or…"

"No, no," he shook his head and pushed her off of him gently so he could look at her. "I was heading out, I…I was walking to the car and I heard…someone was following me."

She squinted. "You said…last night, you said you thought someone might have been…"

"Yeah," he sighed, cutting her off. "I turned and…" he blinked. "He was right behind me. He asked me a few questions, I answered him, and then…he reached for his gun. I was faster." He raised his hand and twisted his wrist and wrapped arm. "He barely grazed me."

"Who? What questions?" she asked, lightly trailing her fingers over the seams of the gauze. "What are you…"

"Dean, Liv," he said softly, watching her eyes for the pain and shock he knew she would be feeling.

Instead, though, she looked at him with a hint of fear and a lot of anger in her eyes. "What?" she hissed. "What did he ask you? Why the hell did he try to shoot…"

He pressed a finger to her lips. "He was in town for the trial, the vic was the daughter of one of the agents in his department, and…" he shook his head. "Anyway, he followed us to the bar last night, he wanted to talk to you. Then, I guess, he saw us kissing…and he followed us to the park…" he bit his lip. "Liv, he stayed…he watched, listened, whatever."

"Are you…oh, my God," she dropped her head to his chest again. "I can't believe he was gonna shoot you over me."

He laughed and kissed the crown of her head. "He thought I assaulted you in the park," he said. "At least, that was his excuse. He…He's still got a thing for you, Benson."

She scoffed and shook her head. "Where is he?" she asked, absently running her nails over his bare back. She heard him moan softly, but assumed he was in pain. "What did you do to him?"

"I just shot the gun out of his hands, got him in the shoulder," he said with a shake of his head. "He's okay. He can't pitch for the Yankees anytime soon, but he…he walked away from this."

She kissed his chest, then his neck, and then her lips landed on his.

He curled his hands around the back of her head, twisting her hair around his fingers as he kissed her. He moaned lightly into her mouth, and he tried to pull her closer to him.

She pulled away, though. After staring into his eyes for a beat, she licked her lips and smirked, rolling her eyes. "The things you do to me, Stabler," she teased.

He grinned at her as he brushed her hair behind her ear. "You return the favor," he said with a wink. "Trust me."

The door opened again then, and both heads turned to look at Fin as he entered the room. "Talked to Sergeant Callahan," he said. "Since it was self-defense, as witnessed by at least six people who were outside when it happened, he ain't holding you."

"I knew that," Elliot said, reaching for the grey sweatshirt on the table near his bed. "But thanks."

"He needs a statement, though, before you leave," Fin added, watching Elliot pull the hoodie over his head and stand. "They're chargin' Porter."

"With what?" Olivia asked, taking Elliot's hand and squeezing harder than necessary.

Elliot smiled at her grip, then bent to kiss her once before saying, "Assault with a deadly weapon." He kissed her again. "He'll talk his way out of it, somehow."

"I gotta call Cragen," she said, reaching for her phone. "I just…"

Fin held up a hand. "I already called him. You two, you got the rest of the day off. But since your ass is just fine, you get to go in at six instead of seven to finish your prep before trial." He smirked at Elliot.

Elliot laughed, tugged on Olivia's hand, and followed Fin out of the room. He turned to her once they reached the waiting room, he kissed her slowly, savoring the moment. "I'll be right back," he said, pulling his arm from around her.

She watched him walk toward Callahan, and she took a deep breath. She heard his voice again, three little words, and it took her a moment to realize that this time it wasn't in her head. She smiled at him as he looked at her over his shoulder. "I love you, too."

* * *

><p>"How's your arm?" Olivia asked, sitting on the couch in the space between Elliot's legs. She leaned back against his chest and sighed.<p>

He wrapped both arms around her and kissed her head. "Just fine," he said. "Doesn't even hurt." He trailed his lips down her neck and nipped at the skin behind her ear. "I can prove I'm fine, baby. I am absolutely fine."

She moaned softly, pressing back into him harder. "And you tell me I'm the sexaholic?"

He chuckled and whispered, "Why do you think we work so well together? We're perfect for each other." He sucked her lobe into his mouth.

She shivered and twitched as his hot breath hit her ear, but she suppressed another moan. "El, you never told me what Dean asked you before he…"

"About you," he mumbled, his tongue still swirling around her ear. "Wanted to know about you," he said. "The way you smell…the way you taste…" he licked the ring of her ear again. "When I told him to go to hell, he went for the gun."

She pressed her lips together, trying to fight the feelings he was stirring in her, the chills he was sending through her body. "El," she breathed, "God, I can't help…"

"I wouldn't be teasing the shit out of you if I wanted you to help anything," he told her with a chuckle. He slid his hands down the front of her body, unbuttoning her shirt as he suckled on her neck. He moaned as she writhed, her body rubbing against him, hardening him.

She heard him grunt and reached a hand behind her, slipping it low. She rubbed his thick length through the straining fabric of his pants as she leaned her head back, giving him more access to her neck. "We should move…" she began, but he bit her skin and her words became a loud moan.

"Right here," he muttered, her flesh in his mouth. He flicked two fingers over the front clasp of her bra, and then moved his hand to her nipple. He twisted and pulled on the rosy nub as his other hand skimmed down her body and slipped into her pants.

She gasped when she felt his fingers snake under the silk of her panties and run through her folds. She rubbed against him harder, her hand moved over him faster. "El," she panted. "Please…need you…"

"You have me," he said, his lips against her ear. "If you need me, baby, I'm right here." He moved his fingers over her hot flesh, pushing his middle finger into her as his thumb bent to find her clit. "Fuck, I'm right here."

She moaned, and though it physically pained her, she pulled his hand out of her pants and turned herself over. She raised her body up and wrapped herself around him, facing him, straddling him. She looked into his eyes as she unzipped his pants, biting her lip as she grabbed him and pulled him free, and she sighed when both of his hands shot up to her chest.

He grunted as he smoothed his thumbs over both of her nipples, and he cursed under his breath when he watched her shimmy her pants over her hips. "So fucking beautiful," he spat, twisting the beaded skin in his fingers.

She seethed and bit her lip as she moved and sank over him, then bent her head to kiss him as she rocked against him, working him deeper. She licked his lips, begging them to open for her, and when they did, she moaned his name before devouring him.

He held her hips down tight, slamming his own upward, his flesh hitting against hers with every thrust. But something clicked, as he let himself taste their kiss, as he let himself listen to her mumbled confessions of love. He slowed down, eased up, and smoothed one hand from her hip to the back of her neck.

She tried to calm her frenzied kissing, letting her rhythm match his, and what was once frantic and needy became something to relish in, each move and action conveying a deep meaning. Letting that hit her every time he thrust made her body tighten faster, and she cried his name as she convulsed and pulsed around him.

He chuckled beneath her, his mouth muffling her screams, and he kept moving. He was slow with her as she rode out her release, and he felt her tighten again almost immediately as he kept up his thrusting. "Fuck," he hissed against her lips as he felt heat course through his body.

"El," she moaned, "Baby, God." She nipped at his bottom lip as he took her a little closer to Heaven, and when she clamped around him, he finally let go with her.

He held her close as he pumped into her, his body tight beneath her, his toes curled near the arm of the couch. "Baby," he moaned, then grunted twice.

She ran her fingers up and down his chest as they stilled, trying to calm down. She kissed him slowly, her breath still ragged, her body still shaking.

"I love you," he whispered.

She smiled. "I've been hearing you tell me that…all day." She kissed the end of his nose. "Even when you weren't with me. Your voice in my head…saying it…over and over again."

He grinned up at her. "Welcome to my world," he laughed, kissing her chin. He nuzzled her for a moment, almost a full minute, before his phone rang. He rolled his eyes as he reached over to the coffee table to answer it. "Stabler," he spat, his free hand still running along Olivia's hot skin. "What?" he popped up, his eyes wide.

She slipped off of him as he moved, the both of them now sitting up on the couch. "What happened?"

"Yeah, I…no, I'll be right there," he said, his eyes closed. "Thank you." He hung up and threw the phone to the floor, not caring if it broke. "Son of a bitch!"

"What?" she repeated, now panicking.

He ran his hands down his face, almost scrubbing, and said, "Fucking Tucker! I have to go down to the station for an official inquiry!"

"Because of Dean?" she asked. "That's bullshit!"

"Not because of Dean, Liv," he grouched. "Because of you! Us! Shit!" He stood and walked into the bedroom, searching for clean clothes, and he knew she was behind him. He ripped a shirt off of a hanger, pulling it on as he looked at her. "Someone else knows," he said. He closed his eyes and said, "Someone told Tucker."

**A/N: Uh-oh!**


	10. Words

**A/N: Still a little bit of your words I long to hear**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

"Why didn't you tell me?" Ed Tucker asked, glaring at Elliot with a clipboard in his hands. "Either of you! You both had plenty of chances! We could have avoided this, Stabler!"

Elliot smirked at him. "Well…" he paused and shrugged. "We didn't want you to know."

Tucker sighed and sat at the long, grey table. "Now you have to go on record with this, it will be in your jacket," he said, blinking. "Trust me, I'm the last person that really wants to hear the details of your sex life, but…"

"Just turn on the tape recorder, Tucker," Elliot interrupted, folding his hands on the table.

Tucker tilted his head. "You're not…you're not arguing with…"

"You're the one complaining that you don't have time for this," Elliot said smugly. "Stop stalling."

With a narrow-eyed expression, Tucker flicked a switch. "Sergeant Edward Tucker, formal inquisition of Detective Elliot Stabler." He cleared his throat. "When did the personal relationship between you and Detective Olivia Benson begin?"

"Twelve years ago," Elliot said firmly. "Oh...you…you meant the sex?"

"Detective," Tucker snapped, "You're not making this any easier for yourself by screwing around."

Elliot smiled. "I just answered your question," he said. "This got personal the day we met. But…we've been…physical for five months."

Tucker looked confused. "So you were…"

"Not married when it started, no," Elliot interjected. "I'm not guilty of anything except keeping my private life…private."

Tucker heaved another sigh. "You were aware of the policies prohibiting fraternization with colleagues when this started, were you not?"

"It's not prohibited," Elliot said. "It's discouraged, frowned upon, but not prohibited. Besides, uh, when this started we thought…or at least, she thought that…it wasn't supposed to get this serious." He closed his eyes. "But I'm in love with her. And if I have to be punished for that…so be it."

"Even if it means you have to transfer out of the unit?" Tucker asked. "Maybe even out of the precinct entirely?"

Elliot nodded. "I'll be going home to her," he said. "That's what matters." He sighed and unfolded his hands. "Look, I know we're in trouble, but I don't care. She's more important to me than this job. Any job."

Tucker slammed his hand down on the table, flicked off the tape recorder, and bit his lip. "Fuck it," he hissed. "We're done. I need to make some calls, and you'll…you'll have my final ruling on this in the morning."

Elliot stood, pulled on his tie, and held out his hand, shaking Tucker's when it was reluctantly offered, then left the room, grinning. He had known Tucker would try like hell to piss him off, but he'd stayed calm, pissing Tucker off instead.

"What did he say?" Olivia asked, her eyes widening as Elliot walked down the hall, toward her.

Elliot wrapped his arms around her. "Nothing," he said. "There was nothing he could say. I just told him what he needed to hear, and he told me he'd make a decision in the morning." He kissed her forehead. "I'm ready. For whatever he says. I want you to know that."

Olivia pushed away from him. "I'm not worth this, Elliot," she said, shaking her head. "You can't risk your job for this. For me."

"Honey," he returned, still holding her and looking into her eyes, "I told you long ago you worth risking my life for. My job…is nothing compared to what I really am willing to give up for you." He kissed her forehead, then her lips.

She smiled and pressed her head to his. "I wish I understood why you feel that way," she chuckled. "I'm a mess, El. I'm damaged. I'm half drunk and half monster and…"

"And it didn't matter, did it?" he said, cutting her off. "You've survived more than most women your age, more than anyone should ever have to, and you're strong for it. Better because of it. You make me want to be better, to be the kind of man you deserve." He took a shaking breath and blinked twice. "You have no idea how wonderful you are, or how much I love you."

Her eyes, wet with tears she wouldn't allow to fall, bore into his. "I do now," she said softly. Her hands trembled as she ran them down his shirt, twisting the material. "Part of me always has, I just…I was…"

"Too afraid to admit it?" Elliot asked, smirking. He laughed and kissed her, and said, "Me, too, baby. Me, too." He clutched her head to his chest and said, "I knew this was happening, I did nothing to stop it, and I wouldn't change a goddamned thing."

She smiled as his lips came closer, then pressed against hers. The kiss lingered, and she knew they were in the hallway of One Police Plaza, being watched by their superiors, but she didn't care. "Neither would I," she whispered, running her hands down to link her fingers with his.

He brushed his lips over hers again, then pulled her toward the door. "Let's go," he said with a heavy breath.

"Wait," she said, pulling on his hand, stopping him. "Who told him?"

Elliot ignored her question and tugged on her hand again. "I really wanna go home, Liv. We're probably gonna be called into work in the middle of the night, and I need to get…"

"Elliot!" she yelled, finally making him fully turn to her. "Who told Tucker about us? It wasn't Dean, he'd never get me in trouble just to screw you over."

He clenched his jaw, swallowed hard once, then said, "Casey." He ran his thumb over her fingers. "She was afraid that with the trial coming up, we would get too involved with backing up each other's stories instead of…"

"So…hold on…" she tried to keep her breathing even and her anger under control. "She didn't think you getting shot by one of the prosecution's character witnesses would jeopardize the case, but she thinks us being together would? We've always backed each other up! Fuck, El, we've been covering each other's ass for years!"

"You know her, Liv," he said, cupping her face. He lowered his voice and brushed his nose against hers. "She's been in trouble before, faced the review board twice, she was covering her own ass at the expense of ours."

Olivia rook a deep breath, closed her eyes as she let it out, and finally walked with him toward the door. "I don't know if I'm pissed off or…"

"Relieved," he said, finishing her sentence. "Me, too, baby. She said it so we didn't have to, it's out now, we don't have to hide anymore…in a way, she did us a favor."

Pushing the door open, Olivia nodded. "Maybe she did," she said with a shiver.

Elliot pulled her closer and wrapped her in his arms. It made walking a bit difficult, but it was his job to keep her warm. He kissed the back of her head as they stumbled toward his car.

"How's your arm, by the way?" she asked, turning over her shoulder.

"Hurts like a bitch," he chuckled. "But it's nothing I can't ignore. You know that," he said with a wink. He reached out to open the passenger side door for her, but he stopped. His eyes slid shut and he took a deep breath, leaning into her. "You smell so good," he whispered, kissing her neck.

She moaned as he pressed her up against the side of the car. "Do I?"

"God, yes," he mumbled, his lips still grazing her skin. "It's amazing how just being close to you like this…just breathing around you can make me crazy."

"El," she whispered, her arms moving around his neck, "Why do you think I keep wearing your shirts? Why do you think I spray my pillows with your cologne?"

He chuckled with an evil grin, moving his lips to hers. "We're made for each other," he said as he kissed her.

"Took you long enough to do something about it," she teased, raking her nails down his back. "We should get home."

"Oh, the minute we get through that door, I am gonna…" His words were stopped by the ringing of his cell phone. He rolled his eyes, kissed Olivia again, and dug into his pocket for his phone. "Stabler," he spat.

Olivia pushed away from him, sighing, and turned to finally open the car door. She sat and buckled her seatbelt, her eyes staring out her window, following Elliot as he moved and got in the driver's seat. "What's up?" she asked him.

"DB on Fifty-Third," he said, starting the car. "Guess my plans for you are gonna have to wait." He leaned over the console and gave her one last kiss, then pulled out of the parking space. He drove off fast, questions running rampant in the back of his mind, the answers not coming quickly enough.

* * *

><p>"You guys got here fast," Melinda said, snapping a latex glove on her left hand. "I haven't even started my prelim."<p>

Elliot narrowed his eyes. "We weren't that far away."

"Well, I thought you'd take your time, ya know?" Melinda said with a wink, crawling under the yellow tape. "Get in some last minute canoodling before you had to…"

"What?" Elliot huffed. "Shit, news travels at lightning speed around here! Liv and I can do our jobs and have a relationship! We've been doing it for months!" He stormed under the tape and made a bee-line for the body and the uniformed officer beside it.

Melinda stared at him, her eyes wide and her fingers pulling at the glove that was only halfway on her right hand. "I didn't…I wasn't trying to…"

"Mel," Olivia interrupted with a shake of her head, "He just spent an hour at One-P-P talking about this. Us," she explained. "First he had to talk to Cragen, then he had to go on record with Tucker…he's a little hot under the collar right now."

"I was just joking," Melinda shrugged. "I always thought that you were together anyway, so it didn't seem…I'm sorry." She tilted her head. "Is he gonna be okay?"

"Yeah," Olivia said, finally walking under the tape and heading toward the victim with Melinda. "We're both gonna be just fine." She looked at the medical examiner as she pulled on a latex glove of her own. "How did you find out, anyway?"

Melinda knelt down to examine the body of the young woman. "When this was called in, Fin told me if you two didn't show up to let him know and he'd be out here. He had to tell me where you were, but…I figured out why on my own." She looked up at Olivia. "You may think you've kept some sort of big secret but, Olivia, anyone who really looked at you could tell. The way you look at each other…the way you fight, the way you walk so in sync, the way you…"

"Okay," Olivia interrupted, rolling her eyes. "What have we got?"

Melinda smiled and looked down, her grin fading instantly. "Nude woman in the middle of a dark alley? I haven't examined her yet, but I'd say we have a rape and murder." She clicked on a small flashlight and shined the beam on the woman's neck. "Ligature marks. She was definitely strangled with something. I'll find out more when I get her on my table."

Olivia nodded, then turned her head to look for Elliot. She furrowed her brow, wondering why he wasn't still talking to the officer, and took a few steps further into the dark. "El?" She heard a metallic clang and instinctively reached for her gun. She aimed it in front of her, slowly walking toward the noise. "Elliot?" she called a bit louder.

"Yeah," his voice carried softly to her. He kicked another rock, and it crashed against a trash can as the one before it had done. "It's me. I'm here."

She sighed and holstered her gun. "We have to talk to the cops out there, and we need to follow Melinda to the lab, you…"

"I'm not sorry," he said, his head snapping, his eyes looking at her.

"Sorry for what?" she questioned.

He moved toward her. "Whatever happens in the morning, whatever Tucker decides, Liv. I'm not sorry. I'll never be sorry." He pressed his lips to her forehead. "You'll…you'll stay with me, right? Even if I have to…"

"Detectives?" Melinda called. "I got something here you should see!"

They both moved, in perfect sync just as Melinda had noticed. Before they walked back into the dim light of the alley, Olivia stopped Elliot. "If you leave, El, that doesn't mean this ends. I love you. I'm…I'm yours. Always."

He smiled, then rested his hand on her lower back, nudging her toward the gurney and Melinda. He knew, now, his fears, just like hers, were squelched once and for all.

At least, until tomorrow.

**A/N: Tucker's decision is…?**


	11. Closer

**A/N: You step a little closer to me, so close I can't see what's going on.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

He pushed the door open, held it for her as she walked through, then slammed it and locked it behind him. He didn't bother turning on the light, blindly walking toward the bedroom as he pulled off his clothes. He tossed his shirt into the hamper, then unclipped his badge, unholstered his gun, and set them both on the side table before throwing his phone and wallet down, then scrubbed both hands down his face.

She sighed as she watched the silhouette of his body move through the shadows of the room as he moved back toward the hamper and dropped his pants. She let out a soft moan when he shed his boxers, and she could see his length, even in the dark.

He chuckled, more to himself than to her, and looked over at her, his own breath catching as he saw the material of her shirt fall open. "What?"

"Nothing," she whispered, throwing the blue button-down into the hamper. "You…are you okay? You look… nervous." She mimicked his actions, laying her gun and badge on the table next to his.

He took another breath, holding it as his eyes followed her pants over her hips. "I'm okay," he said, shaking slightly.

She dropped the black cotton onto the top of the pile of dirty clothes, then turned to look at him. "Tell me the truth, El."

He said nothing, instead his hands smoothed up her bare arms. His fingers pulled at the silken straps of her bra and guided them down, over her shoulders. His eyes, locked on hers, didn't blink as he pulled the material lower. "I _am_ telling you the truth."

Her breath quickened when he worked the clasp of her bra open, stepping closer to her and closing the gap between their bodies. "El, don't avoid the…"

"Shh," he hushed, laying one finger over her lips. "I told you before, I'm okay with whatever decision Tucker makes, but right now…I wanna forget about it. I wanna forget the shitstorm that's blowing in tomorrow, and I just want to be here, now, with you."

She nodded, not looking away from him. She felt the bra fall away completely, and she twitched lightly when his fingers grazed down her sides to grasp her panties.

He smiled, whispering, "Ticklish?"

"You know I am," she told him, bending her knees just a bit to let him pull the silky briefs down the rest of the way and over her feet. She moaned loudly when, without warning, he caught her nipple in his mouth.

He held her left hip with one hand and her right breast in the other, cupping and squeezing the flesh as he worked his mouth on the hardened bud. He clasped it gently between his teeth, pulling just a bit before sucking hard.

Her fingers dug into and scratched at his scalp, earning low groans from him that sent ripples from her nipple to her belly. "Oh, God, El," she whined, somehow aware of his hand slipping from her hip to between her legs. She bucked at his touch, at the sliding of his middle finger up her folds.

He brought his head up, away from her chest, and he kissed her as he mumbled, "Always so ready for me."

She chuckled, rolling her eyes slightly at his bedroom ego, and she dragged her hands from his head to his back. As she dragged her nails along his spine, she found his smirking lips again, kissing him with an easy impatience.

He moaned, pressing his tongue against her lips, begging her to open to him. Once the kiss grew, he pushed his finger into her, catching her cry in his mouth. Twisting the digit, he moaned her name against her lips.

She shivered as she felt him moving backward, both his busy hands pulling her along, and she followed willingly. She whimpered in protest when he stepped away from her a moment later, but her eyes remained focused on his.

He guided her down onto the bed, tossing pillows and blankets out of the way as he moved over her. He held himself up, his head hovering above hers, and he grinned. "Say it," he whispered. "Say you want me."

"I want you," she returned without hesitation. Her fingertips brushed over his skin, skimming up his body then trailed down his arms, which she felt trembling as the muscles strained to keep him up.

He let himself fall down to her slowly, his nose rubbing hers lightly. "How badly do you want me?"

She smirked, then looped one of her legs around his. She ground herself against him, moaning and hearing him grunt. "You tell me," she teased, knowing that as she moved, her wetness was coating his skin.

"Fuck," he hissed, finally sealing his mouth over hers again. He nipped at her lower lip as he shifted his body into position, trying to find her entrance without help. Growing frustrated, he held her still, spreading her legs wider with his knee and chuckling. "Gotcha," he joked, easing into her slowly.

She let her eyes flutter, but not close, as she held her breath and tried to hold onto this moment. Her favorite part was the first moment, when he pushed into her for the first time. When she felt his pelvis press into hers, she exhaled and kissed him.

His fingers crawled up her body, wrapped briefly around her neck, then began twisting into her hair as he kissed her. He began to move, a slow tempo building between them. The rise and fall of his body garnered soft moans and breathy pants from her.

Her hands tensed, her palms flattening over his ass as her fingertips gripped his flesh. She felt his muscles move underneath his skin as he thrust into her. "El," she moaned.

A growl escaped as he moved faster, his body rippling and vibrating, the intensity of physical and emotional strain coming to a boil in his bones. "Shit, baby," he whispered, gasping as his flesh slapped against hers.

She arched her back and dropped her jaw, feeling him hit a spot inside of her that send an electric shock through her. "Oh, God," she cried, her fingers curling. Her nails were cutting into his skin, but it only spurred him.

"Liv," he moaned, "Christ, Liv." He disentangled his fingers from her hair and used his left hand for leverage against the mattress, while his right glided along her body and grabbed her left leg.

She didn't fight him at all as he lifted her leg and wrapped it around his waist. She felt him hitting spots deeper inside of her, her moans grew louder, her breath came in shorter bursts. "Elliot," she mouthed, unable to produce sound.

He nodded fast, looking down at her, and kissed her as he thrust harder. He groaned with every hit, his body beginning to quake. He let out a shuddering moan, almost like whining, as the shaking intensified.

She tightened around him, whatever he was feeling carried through him to her, and she met each of his frenzied and panicked moans with one of her own. Her hands flew from his clenched ass to his face and she cupped it tightly, keening into their kiss.

He ripped his lips away from hers, suddenly slamming hard, almost roughly into her, and he quivered as he pressed his lips together. "Fuck, fuck, fuck," he spat, punctuating every thrust of his body against and into hers.

"Holy…" she trailed off. Her hands had fallen from his face and were now twisting in the sheets, her knuckles white with constriction. "El…Elliot…shit!"

He held on as her back angled and her head fell backward. He felt her pulse and throb beneath him, around him, and he forgot to breathe. He gasped for air when her head popped back up and she looked into his eyes. He felt her hands on his arms, her body vibrating. "Oh, hell," he spat, and then he let go.

An almost violent, ferocious growl seemed to be ripped from him before she watched his body convulse and his face contort as he pumped into her still. It was enough to bring on another fast orgasm, she tightened and shook with him, her eyes open and fixed on his.

He slowed, then stopped, then collapsed, falling just to her left to avoid crushing her. He mustered the energy to pull her up on top of him, staying inside of her. His chest heaved, she rose and fell as he breathed, and he stared up at the ceiling as he felt her heart thudding against his chest.

She felt and heard his heart pound, too, as she rested pressed down to him. "Wow," she panted.

He huffed in agreement, then went silent. His eyes still stared at the ceiling, his hands still splayed absently on her back as he struggled to calm down. "Liv?"

"What, baby?" she asked, not moving at all.

He took a single, deep breath. "Are you scared?"

She tilted her head to look at him from her place on his chest. "What?"

"Are you scared?" he repeated, "Because I'm…" he stopped, feeling himself tremble again. "I'm terrified."

She popped up when she saw his lips quiver, and she straddled him to look straight down at him. She cupped his face and kissed him, slowly and lightly. "El, don't."

He shook his head, took a shaking breath, and held her face just the same way she was holding his. The tears fell, and he sniffled as he said, "I can't…I don't…I don't know what I'm gonna do if he says…" He didn't even manage to get the words out of his mouth. His phone rang, the shrill, digital ringtone that told him it was Tucker.

"Oh, God," she gasped, moving off of him so he could reach for his phone. She watched him grab it, noticing his hand shaking slightly as he answered the call.

"Stabler," he said, trying to sound calm. "Yeah. I…no, I understand. I'm…yes. No I…I'll be…I'll be there. No...I…right. Thank…" he looked over at Olivia, one eyebrow quirked. "He hung up on me. The one time in my life I'll probably ever thank him for anything and he…"

"Thank him?" she interrupted. "Thank him for what? What did he say?"

With a heavy sigh, he relaxed and pulled her close to him again. "I'm gonna be going to ComStat meetings and policy seminars until I'm ninety-five, and I owe the fucker a favor, but, uh, I got a few days suspension for fraternization…that's it. Baby, the bureau isn't taking any severe action. Not unless we fuck this up."

"Uh, news flash, we've fucked up before," she chuckled. "Before…this. Us." She ran her hand over his chest. "Gitano."

"VanDyne," he says, kissing her forehead. "Schenkle."

"White, Rook," she whispered, kissing his lips. "We're gonna be just fine."

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her, laughing as they kissed. He finally relaxed, and he'd stay that way now that he didn't have to worry about their job splitting them up.

He just didn't count on something other than the job trying to take her away.

**A/N: What?**


	12. Fly

**A/N: Stones taught me to fly.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and the characters; TStabler© owns the story you're about to read.**

Olivia pulled open the heavy, glass door and walked into the building, rolling her eyes at the voice on the other end of the phone. "I'll be back in ten minutes, El. I think you can handle…" she stopped, staring at the woman standing no more than two feet in front of her. "Oh, give me a break."

The blonde raised a hand and waved with a sheepish smile on her face. She brushed her hair behind her ears and watched as Olivia moved closer to her.

"I gotta go," she mumbled as she hung up the phone and tilted her head. "What are you doing here, Kathy?" she asked. "They don't have banks in Queens?"

Kathy chuckled. "I have to come here to cash the child support checks from Elliot." She bit her lip and cleared her throat. "How is he, by the way?"

"Call him and ask him yourself," Olivia snapped. "Excuse me, I have to…"

"Please," Kathy sighed, "Olivia I know you think I ruined his life, but really…you got what you wanted, he got what he wanted, he gets weekends and holidays with the kids which is basically all he had before, so what have I really done?"

Olivia's eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, I got what I wanted?"

"Let me guess," Kathy said, folding her arms. "He called you, told you he found the house empty, you ran over there, and ten minutes later you were in bed with him."

"Not even close," Olivia hissed. "He called me, crying. I did run to him, but there was nothing…it took a hell of a lot longer than ten minutes to get him to even realize you were really gone. Nothing happened that night, Kathy. He loved you."

Kathy shook her head. "No, he loved you. I was…safe." She wrung her hands together and licked her lips. "Just…be careful, okay?"

"Me? You want me to be careful…with Elliot?" Olivia scoffed. "That's rich, coming from the woman who broke him."

"You're the one that put him back together, you know how fragile he is," Kathy said, looking earnestly at the brunette. "You need to be careful, because he's in this…with you…so much deeper than he ever was with me. And I know you, Olivia. You run when things get serious. So if you aren't prepared to spend the rest of your life with Elliot, then please, tell him that, and let him go."

Olivia held her breath for a moment. "How did you even know what…"

"He's been in love with you for years, Olivia. I knew it before he did." Kathy smiled. "I knew the minute he could, he'd make a move, and once he sinks his claws into something…or someone…that he wants, he's like a little kid with a lollipop. They're gonna have to try to pry you out of his cold, dead hands, and even then he won't let you go."

Olivia, stunned, bit her lip again. "What makes you think I want him to let go?"

Kathy grinned. "You're Olivia Benson," she said. "I've seen you go through men like most women go through shoes. If this ends, it'll be the end for him, so walk away now, while he's still liable to bounce back from it." She nodded once and said, "Enjoy the rest of your lunch break."

Narrowing her eyes, Olivia stepped around Kathy, shaking her head as she headed for the closest available teller. She slipped the check and deposit slip, crinkled from her crushing it in her fist, under the glass and drummed her fingers along the marble. She wasn't sure if Kathy meant to scare her away from Elliot, but all the little chat did was make her more determined to hold onto him.

* * *

><p>"That was a long ten minutes," Elliot mumbled under his breath, eyeing Olivia as she sat down at her desk.<p>

"Don't start," she gruffed, combing her fingers through her hair.

Elliot's head popped up, then, and his eyes widened at her. "What happened?"

"I went to put my check in the bank, and I ran into…"

"Kathy," Elliot finished for her. "She, uh, she called. She told me." He ran a hand down his face and took a hard breath. "She said she didn't want you to tell me first because she thought you'd blow it out of proportion."

Olivia laughed softly and shook her head. "Unbelievable."

"What did she say to you?" Elliot asked, leaning over the desk, trying to look into her eyes.

"Nothing," she said, reaching for a file. "Forget it."

Elliot stood suddenly and grabbed Olivia's wrist, pulling her out of her seat and into Cragen's office. He slammed the door and crossed his arms, and he snapped, "Tell me what she said to you."

"Are you out of your mind?" Olivia questioned, moving back toward the door.

Elliot locked it, and he tried to keep calm as his breathing sped up and his nostrils flared. "Cragen's out, talking to Tucker, Liv. So just…tell me what she said to you. Because whatever she said, I swear, it's not true. I haven't even seen her in…"

"Whoa," Olivia said, stopping him. "What are you…you think she told me she slept with you?"

Elliot blinked. "She said she told you something that might have pissed you off, and then I saw the way you stormed in here, so I…"

The force of her kiss knocked him into the door, she knew the knob was pressing into his back, but she didn't care. She ran her hands up his shirt, scraping her nails over his chest, and she whispered, against his lips, "She told me that you have no intention of ending this. Whatever this is."

"And that pissed you off?" he asked her, his hands finding their way to her pants, the smirk on his face growing.

She shook her head. "No," she whispered, nipping at his lips. "What pissed me off was that she assumed that I did." She kissed him again, her body grinding into his. "She told me if I was gonna leave, I needed to do it now, before you fell any…"

It was his turn to cut her off, his tongue sweeping over hers, his hands pulling at the black cotton around her hips. "Don't," he begged into the kiss. "Please."

Her hands slid up his arms and cupped his face. She shook her head and said, ever so softly, "Never."

He moaned and pulled her closer to him, sealing his mouth over hers. He grunted as he pushed himself away from the wall and landed, on top of her, on Cragen's desk. "We shouldn't be doing this here," he murmured as he kissed her.

"We should probably stop," she panted, clawing at his back as she watched him shimmy his pants down to his ankles.

"Probably," he agreed, nodding, before crashing his lips into hers again. In one move, he was inside of her, and he heard her muted moans and whimpers, felt her voice reverberating in his mouth.

Blindly, she grasped at anything and everything she could, hoping to gain leverage and find some way to keep her body still. But it rocked along the slick wood, then bucked against Elliot. She was moving in a wild, hard rhythm, matching the force of his thrusts.

He had forgotten, briefly, where they were, and when he remembered, he laughed a truly evil sounding laugh. "Fuck, Liv," he spat, wrapping his hands around the backs of her thighs, "Do you have any idea…"

"Cross it off your bucket list," she mumbled as her hands flew off of the desk and found his body, her nails scratching down his back. "Fucking hell, Elliot," she seethed, closing her eyes.

"Open," he demanded, neither slowing down nor easing up. Hard and fast he drove into her, his eyes locking on hers once she raised her lids. "There's my girl," he said with a smirk, and he pulled her legs toward him, moving her body lower, almost to the edge of the desk.

Her eyes widened and she felt her whole body burn. "El," she moaned. "God, Elliot…"

"Yeah, baby," he breathed, nodding. His own body was boiling over, ready to erupt, and he began to slow down and hit into her with more force.

She whimpered and bit his skin when his palm slammed down over her mouth and she knew that was her cue, permission from him to let go.

His head dropped to her neck, he bit and sucked at her throbbing pulse as he felt her pulsing around him, and he grunted, muffled by the flesh of her neck, as he came.

Still now, she breathed beneath him, feeling his heart thump right through his chest, against hers. She moaned once again, sighed in contentment, and kissed the palm of his hand, still resting over her mouth. Then reality sunk in, and it hit her. "Oh, fuck! Elliot!"

He let out an "oof" when she pushed him off of her, and he shook his head quickly as he pulled up his pants. "I told you he was out, Liv! We have plenty of time to…"

"He's talking to Tucker? Is that what you said?" she asked, frantically trying to straighten out her clothes. "Why? I thought this was all…"

He pressed a finger to her lips, stopping her words. "Not everything is about us," he whispered, offering a soft, sweet smile. He moved his finger and gave her a soft, gentle kiss. "One question," he said with a tilt of his head.

Taking a calming breath, she tucked in her shirt and pulled on her zipper. "What?"

"How the hell did this happen?" he asked with a laugh, looking around the room. "I brought you in here to talk, not to…I mean, not that it wasn't absolutely a fantasy come true, but…I didn't think…I didn't want to…"

"I don't know," she sighed, reaching to straighten his collar. "I guess I just wanted to tell you…show you…I'm here, El. And I'm not going anywhere. Not unless you tell me to go."

"Well, that's never gonna happen," he snorted. "Kathy was right, Liv. I've got you, and I'm never letting go. So if you…if you do want out, you…"

"Look around, El," she interrupted, shaking her head. "Does this look like I want out?"

He smiled, he bent his head, and he kissed her. "Well, exactly how 'in' are you then?"

She closed her eyes and sighed knowingly, then dropped her head to his chest. "What did you do?"

"Nothing," he said. "Yet. I was just…I was thinking that…"

"Oh, no," she groaned with a small laugh.

He looked down at her, half-amused, half-offended, and he scoffed. "Hey!"

"Okay, okay." She smiled up at him. "What were you thinking?"

He bit at his bottom lip as he pulled away from her, and he straightened out the mess on Cragen's desk. "You really hate the drive back to my place, right? It's a pain in the ass for you."

"Something about bridges and tunnels at two in the morning freaks me out," she shrugged. "So?"

"Well, I only got an apartment in Queens so the kids…it's easier for them if they don't have to…"

"El, I know that," she said, cutting him off again. "Are you thinking about moving?"

He dropped Cragen's paperweight onto a stack of files and turned to her. "I was thinking…maybe…you'd be moving."

"What? Why the hell would I be moving anywhere?" She blinked. Her fingers twisted the lock on the office door, and her hand dropped to the knob before she fully processed what he'd said. "You want me to…"

"Move in with me?" he asked, stepping closer to her. "I don't think it's that crazy of an idea. Liv, think about it, okay? Just think about it, and tell me if you…"

"Yeah," she said, not letting him finish his ramble. "Okay." She kissed his cheek and walked out of the office, thankful the squad room was still mostly empty.

He stood, frozen, wondering if he heard her correctly, and his lips curled into a smile. He'd just fallen a little further, a little harder, and he didn't mind at all.

**A/N: Moving into Elliot's puts a strain on Olivia, but how? **


	13. Scare

**A/N: And I don't want to scare her.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story**

He'd already been staring at her for an hour, and he knew that he wasn't stopping at all for at least another. He blinked once as he watched her, still shuffling around the things she'd thrown into the single, cardboard box on the bed. "You don't want to do this," he said, sighing as a hand swept down his face.

"What?" She turned, looking at him for the first time all morning. "How could you think..."

"Liv," he interrupted, stepping toward her, "You're having a real problem, here. I know I can't expect you to just throw everything in boxes and go, but it's been over an hour, and you haven't even emptied your..."

"El," she breathed, stopping him, her hands landing on his thick arms, "I want to, I do, but..."

"If there's a 'but,' baby, this isn't gonna work." He shook his head and pushed himself away from her. "Forget it, you...you need more..."

"Damn it, El, I'm trying to decide if any of this is even worth packing!" she yelled, cutting him off. She watched as his eyes snapped toward hers and narrowed. "You heard me," she almost hissed. "Everything in this place...maybe not the clothes, a few of the pictures...but everything else..." she shrugged and lifted a small jewelry box, empty and broken, out of the half-packed crate. "It's all bits and pieces of a woman that I don't want to be anymore."

"What does that even...what's that supposed to mean?" He furrowed his brow and moved back to her, realizing he never should have pulled away. "I happen to love the woman you've been for the last decade."

She let out a bitter chuckle. "I mean...that I...none of this is stuff that matters. It's all...mine."

"You're losing me, here," he scratched his head and pursed his lips. "I know it's yours."

She dropped the trinket box, not even flinching as she heard it shatter, and she looked at him. "I want...El, now, it...it should all be ours."

With a tilt of his head and a confused smile, he understood. "Are you...are you sure?"

She nodded as she let herself look around the room. " These walls...hold a lot of secrets. A lot of demons. A lot of things I wish I could forget. This bed...is the bed I went to sleep alone in every night for eleven years."

"Not every night," he attempted a joke, offered a smile.

She nudged him and rolled her eyes. "I want...our bed. Not yours, not mine."

"Ours," the word came out as a whisper. He saw her nod, and in a moment of pure tenderness, he bent his head to press his lips to hers. "I thought...I thought I was..." he lost the words. "I just don't want to scare you."

"Oh," she laughed, "I'm fucking terrified." She dropped her head to his chest, nuzzling close to him. "I've never been this scared before, El. That's gotta mean I got it right this time."

His lips grazed her neck, his hands skimmed up her arms to her neck and finally cupped her face. He kissed her, soft, slow, deep, and he pressed into her just enough to propel her back onto the bed.

The box was pushed aside; it crashed to the hardwood floor, surely doing further damage to that jewelry box. She didn't care, though, as she lost herself in him. Her arms wound around his neck, her body arching into him. She laughed as he bit at her lips, snapping playfully at her.

"I love you," he said, staring down into her eyes, his hands pulling at her clothes. "I can't tell you how many times I imagined saying it, then standing helpless as you bolted. In one slightly more painful version in my mind, you punched me before you ran."

She chuckled again, a little louder, a little more, and she gazed up at him as his palms flattened over the silk cups of her bra. She took a shaky breath, his thumbs circling her nipples, and she said, "I'd never punch you for telling me you love me, as long as you were telling me the truth."

His eyes darkened, his grip on her tightened, and he bent his head closer to hers. "You believe me," he whispered against her skin. "Don't you?"

Her answer was a crane of her neck to kiss him fully. She ran her tongue along the seam of his lips, his fingers pulled lightly at the hardened buds between them, and they shared a moan. A definite yes.

He flailed around, then, trying to get his shirt off without pulling his lips away from hers. Grunting, groping, he managed to send the button-down flannel across the room. He heard her laugh, felt her shake beneath him, and he moaned again. Her laugh was always one of his favorite sounds.

Her laughs faded to moans, though, when he tugged on the cotton tie of her sweatpants. She froze for a moment, briefly wondering if this was something she wanted to do on a bed she'd be selling soon, but she kissed him again and raised her hips.

He peeled them off her, his hands trailing lightly along her skin as he did, and her moans hit his ears. He smiled at her, and his heart, along with a few other body parts, swelled at the sound. "A fitting goodbye, isn't it?" he asked, wagging his eyebrows as he settled over her, his knee between her bare legs.

She ran her hands up and down his back. "What do you mean?"

"Goodbye to this room, this bed, this apartment," he listed, kissing her between each phrase. "One last 'hurrah' here before Little Miss Manhattan moves in with the king of Queens," he joked, nudging her legs a bit farther apart.

She shivered and sighed, nodding. Her eyes closed, her head fell back, her spine bent and her body rolled as he pushed into her, his hot breath hitting her neck as he gasped.

He felt her nails dig into his skin, he moved slowly, trying to feel every subtle movement she made. "Liv," he whispered, kissing her closed eyelids. "Baby, look at me."

Her eyes fluttered open, her quick breathing matching his as she stared at him.

He kissed her as he pulled out of her with a hiss, then held her gaze as he pushed back into her. He remained, fixed on her, as he built power behind his pumping and hooked his arms under her legs. He raised them slightly, moving deeper now, and keeping her from thrashing around too much.

She linked her ankles together, arching up into him, matching his every hit. "El," she whimpered, her eyes coming dangerously close to closing.

"No, no," he panted. "Open." He bit his bottom lip as he grunted, his flesh slapping against hers in a steady rhythm. He ground his body into her, against her, every time he thrust, and her heard her delicious moans telling him he was pushing every one of her buttons in just the right way.

She felt herself slipping, losing control, giving into him, and she knew that he was worth ever ounce of fear he instilled in her. She pulled him closer to her, impossible as it seemed, and her nails scraped down his back, gouging as she moved.

He groaned, he rolled his eyes, he cursed under his heavy breath, and he slammed his body and mouth into hers. He felt her coming undone beneath him, pulsing around him, and he thrust hard and fast in a vain attempt to catch up to her.

She gripped him tight, clenched around him, moaned against his lips, and shuddered as she came. She felt him still, felt his body go rigid, and heard him grunting. She held herself to him as he thrust once more, then finally let go, shooting off into her with a low growl.

Panting, they crumpled together in a heap on the bed, and after a few moments of sweaty, heavy silence, they looked at each other. The laughter that burst between them was loud, and every worry and hesitation either one had crashed to the floor beside the box of Olivia's past, at the foot of the bed.

"So," he breathed, "What do you want to do?"

She inhaled deeply as she kissed him, and answered his question. "I want to get dressed, El. I want to get dressed...and go home."

**A/N: Only two chapters left...something BIG happens...next. **


	14. Lose

**A/N: And I don't wanna lose...**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and its characters. TStabler© owns the narrative, dialogue and plot of this story.**

The people at the table, the pseudo-family, were all quiet as they ate. Unsure of what to say about anything, or anyone, they chewed and swallowed and nodded.

Elliot was the first to speak, he knew Olivia was harboring an anxiety that would soon send her fleeing from the room if it stayed silent for another moment. "Well?" he questioned, swallowing his mouthful of potatoes. "Are you guys okay with this?"

"Wouldn't that have been a good question to ask us before she moved in? Or, at least me?" Maureen asked, her "oldest-child" syndrome shining through.

Kathleen rolled her eyes. "Dad and Liv don't need our permission to do anything," she snapped. "I think...I think this all happened a few years later than it probably should have, but I'm cool with it. Just...keep your bedroom door locked when you're..."

"Kat!" Elliot barked, turning a bit red. "That won't...I mean we...not with you guys in the..."

"We're gonna be here two weeks a month," Dickie interrupted with a smirk that rivaled his father's. "You know you can't keep your hands off of her for that long."

Elliot quickly shoved more potatoes in his mouth as Olivia laughed under her breath. She took a sip of the wine in front of her, and she tilted her head. "You guys are all okay with this? Really?"

Lizzie nodded, pushing the cut steak around on her plate. "Of course," she said. "We love you, Liv. We have for a long time. And at least this is a baby-step, ya know? You didn't jump into getting married which would only lead to a second failed attempt on Dad's part...like it did with some other people we know."

Elliot's eyes narrowed, and after a moment his face screwed into an obvious question mark. "What?"

Maureen almost slammed her water glass down on the table. "Mom," she said through gritted teeth.

"She..." Dickie began, but he was interrupted by a ringing phone.

Olivia looked at Elliot, almost as if asking permission, and one of her eyebrows rose.

He had to laugh at her before leaning over and kissing her softly. "It's our phone, now. You can answer it, baby."

She smiled and dropped her napkin to the table as she got up to take the call, and Elliot turned his attention back to his son. "What about your mom?"

"She went out with that stockbroker again," Dickie said, poking at his broccoli with the prongs of his fork. "He asked her to marry him, on a whim, in the park. She said yes. They're going to..."

"Vegas," Olivia said, a shocked look on her face. "That was...on the phone, that was Kathy. She, uh, she wanted to know if we could keep the kids an extra week."

"What?" Maureen fumed. "She doesn't even want us there? We're not going with her?"

Kathleen put a hand on her sister's shoulder. "Calm down," she whispered. "It's okay. You know Mom, she'll get there and she'll change her mind, and she probably doesn't want to embarrass herself in front of us.

Maureen shook her head and looked up at her father, tears building in her big, blue eyes. "Dad, just...promise me...us...that you won't do anything stupid? That you and Liv...if we get used to this, that you won't..."

"Honey," Elliot said, reaching for his eldest child's hand. "I promise you, all of you...the same promise I made to her and to myself. This is it for me. I'm gonna do everything I can to make sure of that, and I'm not gonna do anything stupid." He laughed a bit at the thought. "If and when we decide to take that next step, it won't be out of the blue. and it won't be Vegas, and you'll know. All of you will know."

Maureen nodded, sniffled. and pulled her hand away from her father. "We're gonna need more clothes," she mumbled, standing. "Can I take the sedan?"

He sighed, reached into his pockets for his keys, and said, "Be careful. And, uh, stop for ice cream on the way back. We could all use it, I think."

Maureen nodded at him, then looked to her brother and sisters. "Coming?" she asked, biting her lip.

The other three kids all stood up, walked over to their father and Olivia, and gave them each a hug. "Dinner was really good. Liv," Lizzie said.

"Amazing," Dickie added, kissing her cheek.

Olivia smiled. "Your father didn't even have to help this time."

"See, Liv?" Kathleen said with a smile, reaching for the doorknob, "Motherhood looks good on you." She winked at her and walked out of the apartment with her siblings, closing the door behind her.

"Motherhood?" Olivia said, cocking an eyebrow at Elliot.

He chuckled and kissed her. "Cooking, cleaning, taking care of them...motherhood. She didn't mean..."

"I know, she just..." she interrupted, but paused. "Someday...not now...but..."

He kissed her, a soft and tender kiss, and smiled. "As many as we can," he winked. "Whenever you want to start, ya know, I'm game." He smiled and chuckled as he watched her roll her eyes.

She wrapped her arms around him and looked into his eyes. "Are you okay? You look...pale. Are you feeling..."

"I feel fine," he cut her off, kissed her again, and pulled her closer. "That whole conversation, it...it made me realize how much...I really don't wanna lose you, Liv."

She nestled her head in the crook of his neck. "You're not," she mumbled, "I'm not going anywhere. I've told you that a thousand..."

"But you could," he interjected again. "If you wanted to, you could leave, you could go. There's nothing tying you down here, and that's what..."

"Hold on!" she yelled, backing away from him. "Nothing tying me down? The four little versions of you that just left, they're tying me down, whether you know it or not. I love them, El, like they're my kids. I know they're not...and...I still can't imagine my life without them."

He took a breath, but before he could speak, she went on.

"And you, El," she said, softer and more serious. "I couldn't stand to be away from you...whenever I left, I came back. I came home." She balled her hands into fists and clutched his shirt. "You really think I'm just gonna pick up and walk away, now that you really are who I come home to?"

He sighed heavily in relief. "I love you," he choked out, pulling her tight. "So much, Liv."

"Yeah, I know," she said on a breath with a menacing gleam in her eyes. "At least according to the tattoo on your ass."

He gasped and smacked her playfully on her own derrière, and said, "It's not on my ass, and I resent the impli..."

It was her turn to shut him up with a kiss. Her smiling mouth pressed against his as he squeezed her ass and bucked into her. They moaned, together, quietly, and she backed up as he moved her toward the wall. "Kids," she breathed. "Any minute."

He laughed. "The kid was right," he said, pulling at her shirt. "No way in hell could I ever keep my hands off of you." He kissed her again, deeply for a moment, before trailing his lips to her neck, biting and sucking as he tried to peel off her clothes.

Their murmurs and moans filled the room as dishes and platters remained forgotten on the table. All they could see at the moment was each other, all they could focus on was being together, feeling and holding and tasting.

The fear in the back of their minds faded, but did not fully dissipate. But something, soon, would make it all go away. For good.

**A/N: Last chapter! Next!**


	15. Cannonball

**A/N: It's not hard to fall, when you float like a cannonball.**

**DISCLAIMER: Dick Wolf owns SVU and all related characters. TStabler owns the following story.**

Her head rested against his chest, her body nestled between his legs, his thighs wrapped tightly around her. She let her eyes flutter closed as she felt his hands slipping down her arms to wrap around her waist.

He gave her a squeeze, kissed the top of her head, and felt her relax deeper into his hold, which made him smile as he kissed her head again.

They were pretending to watch some documentary on the television, their eyes focused on the screen but their thoughts so clearly on nothing but each other.

He traced the waistband of her sweatpants with his fingers, smirking as he moved his head. He bent it slightly to nip and suck at her neck.

A soft moan left her parted lips, and her back arched slightly when he worked his hand down into her pants. "El," she whispered, involuntarily spreading her legs for him, "God, the kids are…"

"Asleep," he finished for her. He grazed her slick skin, moaned into her ear, and pressed two of his thick fingers into her. "You feel so good," he breathed against her, biting her ear lobe.

The moan that left her now was louder, lower, and she let her head fall to her left, opening her neck to him. "Two in the morning," she mumbled, but any cohesive thought that may have followed was lost when he began to twist his fingers.

"Don't care," he whispered, and he grunted when he felt her fingers dig into his thighs, her nails cutting into his skin. He groaned, pumping his fingers faster as she began to rock against him.

She moved, meeting every thrust of his fingers, rubbing and grinding into him. She felt him, hard and thick at the small of her back, as he started to move with her. "El," she whined, turning her head and craning it to look at him.

"Yeah," he nodded, "I know." He covered her mouth with his, pushed another finger into her, and held her against him tightly with his free arm.

Her nails dug deeper into his legs, she whimpered against his mouth.

He twisted his wrist, working his fingers deeper and faster, and thrust his body against hers in a vain attempt to get closer despite the clothes separating them. He grunted again, the noise swallowed by their kiss, and shivered as he felt her begin to tense and tighten.

She shook her head, though, moaning in protest, trying to pull away from him. "El, please," she begged him.

"What?" he asked, breathless, "What's wrong?"

"Need you," she told him, biting and pulling at his bottom lip. "All of you." She looked into his eyes, her almost black gaze settled on him.

He understood her, and without pulling his hand away from her, he gripped her tight and rose from the couch, then carried her into the bedroom. He regretfully pulled his lips away from hers as he laid her on the bed, crawling over her as his free hand ushered her black sweatpants over her hips. He moaned at the sight of his hand working and thrusting into her.

It took some tricky positioning, but she managed to peel off his shirt without much hassle, and she gladly arched her back so he could get her top off, then, too. There was a moment of silent stillness, then she nearly growled when he thrust his fingers back into her.

"God, baby," he grumbled, still looming over her. His thumb swept over her clit, and he relished in the way her body jerked and her voice broke into tiny whimpers. He rubbed her clit hard and fast for a few moments before slowing his teasing fingers and smiling at her. "Not yet," he whispered.

She reached for him, pulling at his plaid boxers, eager to get them off of his body. Her eyes were glued to his, her breath was rapid and short and she let out a soft grunt when she tossed the cotton shorts across the room. She grinned when she saw him smirk at her, and a small laugh escaped when he bent his head to kiss her again.

He held his breath when she slid her legs over him, caressing his shins with hers, asking him to give her what she so desperately wanted. He moaned when her right hand found his, pulled him away from her, and her left began to stroke his length. He pulled away from her to peer down, holding her gaze as he maneuvered his body and lined up at her entrance. "Liv," he said in a whisper, biting his lip.

"What?" Her question came with a soft moan, her fingertips grazing the skin of his arms. "El, don't…"

His lips cut off her words, he thrust into her fast, deeply. He moaned against her mouth, starting a slow rhythm and winding his arms around her. He mumbled something but it was lost in their kiss.

Somewhere in the house, her cell phone rang, a blaring tone that went right through her. "No," she complained, her hands curling around his ass as he pumped into her. "Not now," she spat.

He grunted and sped up, hitting into her with force, his skin slapping against hers. "Shit," he hissed, dropping his head and pressing it against hers. "Come on, baby," he breathed, kissing her.

She whimpered, rolling her eyes both in pleasure and annoyance at the chirping phone in the living room. "God, El," she moaned, her body starting to shake.

Pressed for time, he caught her lower lip between his teeth and nipped as his left hand snaked between their bodies to seek out her clit. "Fucking…cum…" he grunted, wiggling the pad of his middle finger over the swollen nub.

"Oh, my God," she cried, her back arching off of the mattress. Feeling the heat course through her body, she craned her neck to kiss him harder, screaming into his mouth when her muscles clenched around him.

"Fuck," he cursed, trying to move faster still as he heard his phone ring with hers. "Yeah, baby, come on," he said softly, his fingers still circling her clit as he felt his own release start to creep up on him. "Oh, God, Liv," he growled, then he kissed her and felt her tighten, clamping down on him.

Her back flew off of the bed, her nails cut deeper into his skin, she moaned into his mouth as she shook in his arms.

He thrust until he absolutely couldn't get through her tightness, and he let go, stilling, shivering and shuddering as he spurted into her.

She struggled to breathe beneath him, letting the waves roll through her, keeping her lips on his, unwilling to part yet. Finally, she pulled back from him, and in rushed words with heavy breaths, she said, "Phone, shit."

He laughed, kissed her forehead, and nuzzled her nose with his for a moment. "Yeah, we should get up."

She nodded as he rolled off of her, then took a deep breath as she moved to follow him up and toward the closet. As she pawed through her clothes, it hit her. This was his closet, in his bedroom, and it was half-filled with her things. Her blazers mixed with his suits, her shoes sat in piles with his, and it all hit her at once that she was now half of something real, something permanent. "El?"

"Hmm?" he answered, still panting, pulling on a black button-down shirt.

She turned her head as she pulled a pair of brown pants off of a hanger. "Yes," she said, nodding once at him.

He furrowed his brow as he tugged on the black pants he'd stepped into. "Yes?" he asked. "What was the question?"

She pulled a blouse over her head, adjusting the straps of the bra she'd slipped on beneath it. "You haven't asked me yet," she told him, fluffing out her hair before pulling it up into a ponytail, "But when you do, yes." She kissed him, despite his frozen confused face, and walked out of the bedroom to answer her phone, which had started to ring again.

It took him a long moment to process it, but once he did, he smiled. He clapped his hands together, rubbed them in anticipation, and looked up at the ceiling. He smiled, a silent thank you to God for answering his prayers, and he walked out, catching up to his partner.

She reached for the doorknob, but looked up when he cupped his hand over hers, stopping her. "What?"

"I'm just…" he sighed and blinked at her. "Thank you for…letting yourself fall."

"I knew you'd catch me," she said with a wink, then she kissed him and opened the door.

He watched her leave, closed his eyes, said another quiet 'thank you' to no one, and followed her. He knew it would be a long night, but knew what waited for him afterward was well worth the work, because he'd fallen just as hard and fast as she had, just like a cannonball.

**A/N: The end. *sniffle***


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